Trust

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The words "don't trust anyone" were never uttered
Yet, we were taught not to trust
Every time I ripped off a piece of my soul,
It was handed right back, battered around the edges, with insignificant words scribbled all over it
Messages of so called empathy

My soul looks like an alley wall
So graffitied
Everyone want their name on the list of "helpers"

My soul is a whore
It's been passed around everyone
But not by choice.

In reality it's all for image
'If I get my name of 24 walls, maybe, people will forget I cheated on Tom'
Maybe

And so it goes on
"Oh I'm so sorry"
"Are you feeling okay"
"Don't worry, you look lovely!"

The people I trust are the ones that hurt me
At least they're honest
I like it when they're mean to me
It shows truthfulness
Confidence
Saying "stfu"
Instead of "she doesn't stfu" to Stacy later

Kindness scares me
I don't know whether that's trauma or experience
But I like it
It feels safe

If no one can feel my pain
Why try?
What draws us to trust

It's so desperate
Embarrassing
Weak.

People aren't safe,
They have free will
They can go off and tell anyone anything
And you can't do anything about it

So I ask you this
Why should I trust
What does it do for me?

Sure it's a lonely existence
But is lonely better than pain?

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