I hold back
Only say what won't offend
Suddenly a change
A switch
Anger burns from the centre of my being
It shoots up to my brain spewing out into ugly words and screams
It shoots into my limbs making them uncontrollable
"This isn't like you"
It's worry, hate and passion
All swirled together into blanket encapsulating my body
It feels like nothing
Pure numb and ugly and hate
Scream from the rooftops
You stupid bitch
Scream how you feel
Burning
Burning fire in my head
I'm going to explode
My limbs will rip off with a loud tear
A scream
You fucking stupid shit
DIE IN A HOLE SLUT
It bubbles inside
Uncontrollable
Until the flames subside
Shit
Shit
Shit
Shit
Shit
I can't believe I said that
Disbelief
More, say more
Make it worse
Make it better
Run away
(Coward)
The shame laces my brain like tinsel at Christmas
Everywhere
Memories burn into my brain
Memories of shame and guilt
Wince every time I see it like it's an open wound
Little reminder of what a shit person I really am
Injected into every day
Please apologise
No
No because defeat makes all of this worse
It's all for nothing
