it's been months
you'd have thought i would've let go,
i've tried to.
your grip on me
seems almost endless
what you did to me
i'll never forget.
and the effect
i fear,
will never ware off.
i don't want you to have that power
over me
my life.
it seems i've almost handed you control
while trying to remove it.
your perfume
face
hair
smile
clothes
friends
voice
pictures
name.
it all takes me back
to that painful time.
the twisted reality you created
like mother gothel
"mother knows best"
but you aren't my mother
you don't know best
you do not care.
it was ruthless
ignorant to me
to the consequences
for me.
the reality so strong
i believed it for a decade.
i fell for your scam.
no
you do not get excused
just because you were jealous
"i envy you"
you said
now i cannot hear nor say that word.
"you're kind"
"people care about you because you're kind"
as if it was a genetic trait
not a choice made
every sentence,
word, letter
that exits your mouth
is your choice or responsibility.
it's not my fault
your perception of me
was of one higher
than your perception of you.
i tried to help you with that
but it's always my fault,
right.
like it was my fault
that you refused to talk to me
refused anyone else to either
made up games to exclude me.
it was my responsibility
when you wanted to die.
not a preexisting problem
that you failed to inform me of
while simultaneously ignoring me
for a year.
"because you have that power"
no
YOU have that power
the power to ruin
MY life.
oh wait,
no,
sorry,
you don't get to anymore.
by o.p.
no one should ever be treated the way you treated me. NO ONE.
