bad decisions

Chapter 3: Drinks

Noah

After exchanging brief texts with Saturn, I moved from the living room to my studio. Sitting at my desk, YouTube open on my desktop, I spent hours watching every video Saturn had posted for the past four years. The older videos were shorter, getting abruptly cut off as Saturn stopped her dances suddenly. The newer the videos got, the longer they got. She danced to almost exclusively alternative rock type music. It was weird, since most of the dance performers I knew were on the opposite end of the spectrum, dancing mostly to pop-type music.

In the first year of posting, Saturn had been almost exclusively posting pole videos and what I had come to learn was heel dancing. Seeing her work enticed me to look more into it and saw that her style was entirely unique to her. While the majority of heel dance and pole dance routines and videos I saw on were typically higher tempoed music and more upbeat movements, Saturn took her time. She was so graceful and controlled that it was almost ethereal to watch.

That ethereal quality and her background music were the only consistencies throughout her personal evolution. But despite the heavy music and the beauty in which she moved, there was something else in her videos that I couldn't place. Something haunting. It made watching her alone at night like this a very intense and confusingly emotional experience.

Feeling spent after watching every video on her page once, and watching my favorites twice, I leaned back in my chair, propped my feet up on my desk and fell asleep.

I didn't wake up until the late morning sun was shining in through my window. Checking my phone I saw a couple texts from the guys talking about our next album. I looked briefly at my lyrics book on the desk before discarding the thought of getting any work done today. My brain was way too busy to even try.

I sent a quick message to our group text, letting the guys know I'd be taking the day off to get some mental rest before opening my texts with Saturn. Staring at my screen, my mind went blank as I tried to find something to say to her about her videos. I had plenty to say, but nothing appropriate. I couldn't tell this girl, who was still a stranger to me, that her dance made me feel something. I couldn't tell her what it made me feel if I wanted to, because I wasn't even sure how I felt. When nothing acceptable came to mind, I sent the first thing I could think of.

Me: I watched your videos last night, you have serious talent. Was thinking of going on Twitch and streaming for a couple hours, and I know some people are going to want updates about what Bad Omens is doing next. Just wanted to check and see if mentioning the music videos and/or your YouTube was something you'd be comfortable with. It'll be a while before I go live, so just let me know.

I was shocked when I got an immediate response.

Saturn🪐: It would probably be best to wait until we have a contract signed, at the earliest, don't you think? There's nothing on my YouTube that would infringe on my personal life or indicate anything about who I am, so I don't care, personally, but if our agreement falls through for any reason, it'd backfire on your end.

Me: You have a point there. Any plans for today? My manager let me know that the contract should be done in the next day or two, by the way.

Saturn🪐: Got an appointment at my gym, might pick up a shift. When it's ready, just go ahead and email it to my lawyer and copy me on it. Anything on your end?

Me: Streaming, maybe. Not entirely sure. Took the day off writing to get some peace.

She didn't text back after, so I sighed to myself before setting up my stream before going to take a shower. By the time I showered, I wasn't in the mood to stream, so I grabbed my bag, keys, and wallet. I hadn't decided on where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do, until I found myself a couple blocks away from the bookstore I fell in love with when I first moved here.