bad decisions

Chapter 11: The Truth Does Nothing if You Don't Share It - Part One

TW
Emotional Abuse Mentioned
Sexual Content
Self Harm Mentioned
TW

This will be a 3-4 part chapter. Be looking for updates throughout the weekend. 

Saturn - Day 6

My heart is racing and I can't breathe when I open my eyes. I'm met with pitch black vision and silence. It took me a second to notice the warmth on my face and the pressure on my thighs. After a moment of fighting the weight on me, I realized the big hands covering almost my whole face weren't pushing me down. 

The weight on my thighs wasn't pinning me to the bed. The hands were rubbing softly at my face, the person who they were attached to was shushing me softly. Those hands were Noah. Those were Noah's thighs, he was holding me.

"Noah?" I whispered into the dark, not able to see his face.

"It's me," he whispered back, falling sideways off me onto the bed.

"What happened?" I asked, keeping my head facing the ceiling. I could feel old tears on my cheeks as new ones streamed down.

"You were having a nightmare. Crying, yelling 'no' and yelling at someone to get off of you. I had to get you to stop kicking. I'm so sorry," he sounded guilty.

"I'm sorry I woke you up and that I fought you, I didn't know," I said, feeling my breath catch, "Thank you for helping me."

He began to speak as I curled into him, "What time is it Noah?"

He turned slightly to grab his phone and I was blinded by the screen even though it was dimmed, "Just before three in the morning. Looks like we slept through my alarms."

I nodded, "Sorry, I didn't realize how tired I was."

"It's okay, do you want to get going?" He asked.

"Did you get everything you need? I don't want to have come without you getting your stuff," I said, still half asleep.

He leaned his head back, "I don't have shit packed up."

"Let me help you, we can pack together and head back," I said, rubbing my eyes and sitting up.

"No," he said, putting his hand on my thigh with his other arm draped over his eyes, "Lay down, get some more sleep and I'll wake you when I'm ready to go, okay?"

"Are you sure?" I asked, leaning back on my elbows, he was so warm, "I don't want to slow you down."

"You're okay, pretty girl," he didn't move. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the nickname lacing through his sleep riddled voice.

I'd also be lying if I said that I didn't like lying with him. After so many years without comfort, any comfort was addicting, but it was so natural to lean into him. And that's exactly what I did. I laid back until I was on the mattress and scooted myself closer to him until I had my head resting on his chest.

His arm was straight in the air as I brought my leg up and draped it over his thighs, getting comfortable. I felt him lift his head up and look at me, in what I am assuming was question. I didn't want to talk about it, so I tilted the top of my head away from him and grabbed his arm, wrapping it around me. I scooted in and readjusted once more before sighing in contentment and closing my eyes. I don't know if Noah did or not, but I drifted off into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

When I woke again, Noah was asleep, still holding me. I reached over him and grabbed his cellphone to check the time. The clock on his lock screen read just before six in the morning. Groaning, I put his phone down and rubbed the side of my face. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.