La Pantera

Ch. 52 There's Rock Bottom...And Then There's Me

Trigger Warning: heavy domestic violence when she gets home from the prison, drug use after the incident happens.

Song for Chapter: What Was I Made For? By Billie Eilish

About a few days later, Stevie had taken an early morning ride on her motorcycle from her home to the Stockton prison almost 5 hours away. She'd asked the warden about coming and meeting prisoners there, to which the warden and her team had all warned her repeatedly about how it would affect her image. The young woman didn't budge and with reluctance from both groups, she'd been granted access. She parked her bike outside the large facility and walked up the steps, buzzing on the intercom. A large police officer walked her way behind those glass doors. She took a large breath, gathering the strength to face him head on. It'd been many years since being 15 she'd looked an officer in the eye without flashbacks to Martin or her rape. She had to do this. Something called her to these prisoners and she needed to be strong for a few moments. He opened the door, searching her briefly before he led her down the halls. "Don't know why you're wasting your time here..", he stated gruffly. "Maybe cuz they're people like you and me.", her voice stung with ice. "Not shocked you'd defend these rats...you're just like them.", he looked her in the eyes with scorn. Stevie didn't step closer, just locking her own eyes on his with hatred. "Not shocked a pig like you wears blue.", she drawled. Silence filled the hallway before he let her into the large rec area. "Enjoy yourself dyke.", he growled and went to walk away. Stevie scoffed loudly with a big smile, turning to face the giant men that looked her way in silence. They hadn't been expecting any visitors at all, especially a celebrity. She walked near the stage she'd been provided with, having told the warden she'd be singing. To their surprise , she sat down on a little stool in the center ,  and looked them all in the eyes. "Hello, I'm Stevie Costa. I've come here alone. No cameras, no news, none of that bullshit..just want to sing a few songs and talk with ya's..", she introduced herself into the microphone, everyone's eyes on hers. She knew even with the men that held a dead gaze, that they were curious. She knew they were searching for ulterior motives. "You don't know shit lady. Try being in fucking prison.", a man growled at her. Stevie let her own stare become deafening as she silently glared. "That's the ironic part. A lot of the things people call me are true...delinquent, trash, jail whore...I've been to jail..", she began to let the words come out of her mouth. "It's public records...nothing hidden.", she began allowing herself to feel the anger and bitterness from so many years of suppression as she connected with these men, whom were all listening intently now.

"Cops  is always the one taking things from me.", she had wanted to mention her assault, but felt not ready as tears began to well in her eyes. "They've imprisoned friends of mine for just smoking fucking weed..Beat two girls I knew with batons because they were lesbians! Threatened my life constantly and my friends' lives as well! They took me to jail because I finally stood up to to one and fought back! They put me in juvie when I was 14, almost 15 for 5 months! Those cops didn't let you get shit unless you flirted with their disgusting asses...we were kids! They killed MY BOYFRIEND because HOW dare he have black skin!..we were all just kids!", she cried at the end. "I know what it's like to be wronged by our government and placed in these shitholes..I'm looking around and I can guarantee more than half got placed in here for something they didn't do...I may not know your entire struggles, but I know what it's like to fight, for. your. life. I see all of you."

Tears began to well even more in Stevie's eyes, not caring if this spread around. Surprise filled her heart as she was met with a few claps and some whistles. She let out a cry of happiness whilst she grabbed her acoustic guitar. "I've been practicing recently, and I hope these songs are ones ya like.", she giggled. "Play Highway to Hell!", one man yelled. Everyone laughed including Stevie. "I'll give ya that right now!", she yelled. She messed with the guitar some and began to play the opening chords. "Go ahead and sing with me!", she invited, strumming loudly before beginning to belt out the lyrics. A bit higher than her usual range, she still kept up the pace, her raspy voice growling out the words, her face expressing each syllable. She stood up after the second chorus, playing the guitar solo with passionate headbanging, whistles and cheers surrounding her. This was what she was meant to do..acting was still her livelihood, but the missing piece of her body felt complete. Her eyes were lit with fire, pupils enlarged as a dark grin spread across her face.