La Pantera

Ch. 14 Fairy Dust and Old Wounds

Trigger warning ⚠️: self harm and suicidal concepts are mentioned so proceed with caution near the middle of the chapter.

Song for Chapter: Hurt by Johnny Cash

Staying in hotels and motels wasn't unusual for Stevie. She knew that in the entertainment industry, one always was on the move. So staying in California for a little bit wasn't a big deal to her. She had made it to the hotel room after cussing out Eisner, needing a break. The sun was going down , and her stomach was rumbling. However, her appetite wasn't around much anymore. Not after being introduced to cocaine. She shrugged off her leather jacket, throwing it on a chair before coughing. She went to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face, also taking time to look at her reflection once more.

The tall teen definitely was malnourished, but had enough muscle to disguise the fact her body was ebbing away. Her eyes had little life in them besides anger that would either flare up or be hiding in her pupils, ready to strike when necessary. She didn't care however, having lost emotional sensitivity many years ago. She splashed some cold water on her face to keep herself up before going to sit on the bed. Kicking off her boots, she barely heard the television playing as she stared ahead , processing what had happened in the past few hours.

"Stevie...."

"Huh?!", Stevie looked around the room, her eyes wide and darting around in fear. She stood up and looked around herself, confused and terrified even more. "Who the fuck is there?!", she yelled grabbing her knife from her back pocket. She didn't remember withdrawal being this bad the last time she tried to get off of coke.

"Why you runnin' from me?"

Her eyes welled up, recognizing the voice. "Martin you should be dead!", she snarled , trying to look for where he possibly could be.

"You didn't tell me we had a baby together."

She yelled out like a savage animal, throwing her knife in the direction she heard his voice. When Martin had died, she had been meaning to tell him she was pregnant...3 months along to be exact. When he had been gunned down, it had crushed her. She didn't want to raise a baby by herself, so she had risked her life practically to get a secret abortion. Having gone through the aftermath of that alone had crushed her, hardening her on the inside even more than what was capable. "I WAS GOIN TO! WHY AWRE YOU BRINGIN THIS UP?!", she shrieked. Someone banged on the door , causing her to whip her head in that direction, her eyes like slits and her teeth bared. "GET THE FUCK AWAY!", she warned loudly. Footsteps ran away, giving her some relief.

"Stevie, I woulda helped you....I wouldn't have let you suffer alone."

"You're dead it wouldn't have mattered anyway....I would've still aborted the child. Now leave me ALONE!", she snarled. She grabbed her knife and sat against the wall, gripping the handle angrily. Her jaw was clenched as bitter tears fell from her eyes. "Fuck.", she whispered. Without warning, she sliced at her left arm, leaving little scratches lined up after another. There was no other way for her to release this sadness and pain for now. "Worthless whore.", she growled at herself. The pain she got from this made her feel something for once other than cocaine, and if she couldn't do drugs, this was going to be her fix. She cut herself to make it look like a cat or other animal scratched her, knowing people would have questions. "There's no need for you to be here.", her hoarse voice growled.
She finished cutting herself before letting her head rest against the wall, chuckling darkly. "Maybe I should just off myself to be with Martin and that baby..fetus, whatever you call it. I don't really think I can be here.", she laughed at the end.

The telephone rang , causing her to become distracted for a moment. She answered it, blood slowly trailing down her arm. "Hello?", her voice snipped. "Uh is this Stevie Costa?", a voice asked. "Who's this?", she barked. "This is Stacy, your agent. We're gonna start filming at the set they told you before leaving okay?", she reminded Stevie. "Sounds good.", Stevie said before hanging up. She took a few shaky breaths before going to the bathroom, going to wash away her emotions once more.