The sleeping man (Hakuouki modern AU - Hijikata)

Choices

The next morning, a determined Vice Deputy popped up in the director's office, dark circles under his eyes and exuding the smell of cigarettes. Sarah had left early, and he didn't see the point of controlling his nicotine intake without her around.

"Oi, Toshi !" Kondō exclaimed. "You look like you need a coffee."

He grimaced and nodded, all but slumping into the armchair in the corner of Kondō's office. The sweet aroma of dark coffee suddenly filled his nostrils, and he took a careful sip. Hot liquid burnt down his throat, killing the last survivor tastebuds after the last cigarettes. When his best friend sat beside him, nursing another cup of strong brew, Toshizō caught his eye and steeled himself.

"Kondō-san. I'm sorry for what I am about to say."

His friends' bushy eyebrow rose, but the accepting smile upon his face did not falter. So, why in the hell did he feel so guilty ?

"What's on your mind, Toshi ?"

"The future."

Silence settled, and Kondo took another mouthful of coffee, content to wait for his friend to open up. Toshi was always a tough cookie to crack, but most people didn't understand how to coax him out of his shell. Push him, and he would push back. Keep the door open, and he would toe the line until he was ready to cross the threshold.

A weary sigh eventually left his chest, and Kondō felt all the weight of his friend's exhaustion.

"It kills me to admit it, but I can't juggle all those responsibilities. Not when..."

Kondō held up a hand, aware that, for the first time in forever, Toshi had admitted to being overwhelmed. The cost of that admission must have weighed a ton to the proud and obstinate vice deputy; the director's kind heart couldn't take any more grovelling.

"I didn't want to push," he stated, "but you look like hell."

A smirk followed the inelegant snort Toshi addressed him. Then, dark eyes bore into him, and Kondō shivered; being the recipient of Hijikata's gaze was always unnerving and he dedicated a thought to Sarah. A question was asked without words, one that conveyed the need for reassurance.

"What do you need, Toshi ?"

"A life ?"

Understanding escaped him, this time, and the director frowned.

"If you could elaborate ... ?"

"At the end of the day, I have nothing left to give... Hell, I want a chance to have a wife, someday."

Wife ? Had Toshi proposed ? But then, why did he look so defeated ?

"Should I congratulate you ?" Kondō chanced.

When the set of his friend's shoulders slumped, warning bells shot down his spine. Kondō pursed his lips and waited, watching as Toshi mussed his hair anxiously before taking another sip of the strong brew.

"No... I don't... think Sarah is going to stick around."

"WHAT ?" Kondō exploded.

Toshi started on his chair, coffee spilling on the table. The vice deputy wiped it out with a silent Kuso. When he refused to meet his gaze, the director almost whined.

"Well, convince her."

It wasn't possible. He'd spotted a thousand shared looks, the subtle blushes on her cheeks, the affection between them. A married couple already, with their good-natured bickering and tender moments. What could have possibly happened to put strife in between his favourite lovebirds ?

"It's not that simple, Kondō-san. Sarah... she's not from here. Her expectations are different than ours, and she won't settle for less than she deserves. Hell, she's left a past lover in Paris, saying he wasn't worth it. How am I worth more if I can't take care of her ?"

"You are worth a hundred thousand French."

"Tch. Let me remind you how Jules Brunet stuck around when our own daimyos yielded like pussies. Those guys are nothing to laugh at."

Irked to be dismissed too easily, Kondo chose to ignore that said French were good enough at kendo to make Okita sweat. How he wanted to grab his friend's shoulders and shake him until he came to reason.

"Toshi. Just, do what you have to do, but don't let go. You are a great man, one of the best I've ever known."

The praise caused his friend's cheeks to redden slightly, and the next grumble was barely intelligible.

"Your faith in me is astounding."

"As was yours when we decided to create this school," Kondō retorted, mulling through all the times Toshi had whipped them back into shape after a setback. If the academy existed, it was first and foremost thanks to him.

"Look, I think it's time this place returned the favour. What do you need ?"

"A manageable workload."

There, he had said it. Plunged the knife in Kondō's back in refusing to pull his weight. Strangely, though, his friend and director didn't seem miffed, nor disappointed. That perpetual smile remained in his eyes as he serenely reclined against the back of the armchair.

"What do you enjoy most ?"

The question caught him off guard, for his priorities usually ran through necessity, not affinity. The role of vice deputy brought more money than teaching, but those menial logistic issues challenged his sanity. And he disliked paperwork with passion. But the school needed him; Kondō couldn't handle being both director and vice deputy. He could not unburden himself, only to crush his best friend in bitter tasks.

"Toshi ?"

"I... "

The hesitation wasn't lost on Kondō, and he found himself pinned by a stern stare.

"Please, I want an honest answer."

"Teaching," he blurted out, surprised by his own admission. The rest came easily afterwards. "That whole administration kills me, and it's what takes the most time. But how are you going to do... ?"

"Saitō would be a good candidate for a replacement."

Toshizō's eyebrows knitted.

"Saitō ?"

Kondō nodded, his face serene. That expression brought him hope, and the vice deputy remembered eagerly why this great man had become his best friend. There was such eagerness, so much peace to be shared in Kondō's golden world. Despite his youth, Saitō would be a fit replacement to work with rigour and diligence. And the senior student would, without doubt, continue to protect Kondō-san from all dirtiness. Despite his young age, Toshizō trusted Saitō to be up to par.

"He'll graduate in a year," Kondō pressed. "They say he's your spiritual son after all."

Toshizō snorted; that was new. If both he and Saitō went along splendidly, it wasn't because of the similarity of their temper. They shared sternness and dedication, but the young man was stoic like a rock when himself could explode at the slightest provocation.

"Spiritual son ?"

Amusement gave way to astonishment when Kondō tackled him gently.

"Perhaps it's time you have children of your own, rather than take care of the others' offspring, eh, Toshi ?"

Perhaps... but will the lady be amenable ?

"Can't wait to spoil them rotten !" Kondō added.

Toshizōgroaned.