Zero Strings

ZS

Tick... tick... tick....

I purposely disassociated from reality, and all I could hear was the ticking of the clock hanging above the door.

In my defense, I had no idea how I was supposed to react.

I hear the doctor say "you", "have", and "cancer", and my entire body just decided to shut down.

It totally refused to acknowledge anything else, even though the doctor wasn't done talking yet, but right now, the only thing my body could register was the sound of the clock ticking.

"River?" mom said as she grabbed my shoulder. I turned to look at her and saw that she and my dad shared the same look all over their faces--red, tear-stained, and just all around sad.

"Yeah?" I asked my mom, completely oblivious to whatever the doctor had been saying after he told me the three key words that basically spelled my doom.

I had cancer.

I was gonna die.

"Did you hear what the doctor said?" mom asked. I passed a glance at the doctor who was waiting for me to answer, before turning back to my mom.

"No. Sorry, I... I spaced out after he told me... I had...." I told my mom as I flashed her a sheepish smile, completely unable to say out loud that I had cancer.

"River, please. This isn't the time to make jokes" my dad said in a serious tone mixed with his voice hitching, which sort of sounded like he stopped himself from sobbing, as he rubbed his hand all over his face in frustration. Before anything else could escalate, the doctor held his hand up to catch our attention.

"It's okay, Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. I understand that being told this sort of thing at this young age could be very... hard to process" the doctor said

"What do we do then? Please. We're willing to do anything" my dad pleaded with the doctor. And I knew he wasn't bluffing. I knew my family was well-off enough so money wasn't gonna be an issue. They were gonna do whatever it took to get me to stay alive.

Probably even if they have to give up majority of everything they got.

I mean, that's how healthcare works, right? Being completely accessible to those who have money, while being the exact opposite to anyone else who gets paid below minimum wage. If you live in a country without free healthcare, it's basically made only for privileged people. If you don't have the money or insurance, you die.

The doctor took a deep breath and looked at my file once again before looking back at us.

"We'll run some more tests, and then we'll see what we have to do from there. In the meantime, I suggest that River should stay away from anything that would bring him so much stress, and eat healthy. I also suggest that you lessen your time using your phone since that could trigger your tumor. The good news is we caught on early so other than that, just try and stay healthy so it doesn't spread or worsen" the doctor instructed.

Without saying another word, after my parents thanked the doctor for his time, and left the doctor's office.

Even during the car ride, no one bothered making a noise. I guess it was just a lot of information to take and nobody knew what to say. Or if there was anything to say.

I mean, what do you even say in this type of situation, right?

As soon as dad had the car parked in front of our house, the three of us just stayed sat inside the car in silence for what felt like hours, before my sister Jeannie got out of the house and waited for us by the front door with a worried look all over her face as well.

Mom sniffed, breaking the silence, before she turned to face me, unable to make eye contact.

"I'm gonna make a healthy dinner and you're gonna finish everything on your plate, okay?" mom said as she flashed me a forced smile and gripped my hand, before she got out of the car in a hurry, I'm assuming to run to their bedroom and cry.

I mean, I don't blame her.

If it were the other way around, I'd be brawling my eyes out like crazy too.

My dad took a deep breath, taking me away from my thoughts, before slightly turning to face me.

"Come on, let's go inside" dad told me before he went out of the car and I followed suit, instantly getting tackled in a hug by my sister.

"You didn't have to drive for two hours just to see me, you know" I told her as she sobbed uncontrollably on my shoulder and I ended up being the one comforting her. My sister lived in another town two hours away since her job was there, so it sort of surprised me that she took her time to actually be here for me right now.

Not that I wouldn't do the same thing, anyway.

"You dumbass! Do you really think I wouldn't see you after you guys find out you're about to die?!" she said through my shirt and I just let out a laugh.

"Relax! Jesus Christ, you think I'm just gonna let death take me that easy?" I told Jeannie, who immediately looked up and glared at me before lightly punching me.

"You better! You need to be able to see me get married and you still have to be that one cool uncle to my future children. That's not gonna happen if you die soon, Riv" Jeannie whined as she wiped her eyes, so I playfully waved her off.

"Please. I'm just about to start college. I haven't fully enjoyed my life yet, so take it easy. Alright?" I told Jeannie as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and led her inside our house.

Everyone will eventually die, anyway. Death is inevitable. And honestly, while the thought haven't fully sinked in yet, I wanted to see it in more positive light.

Like I said, death is inevitable, and lucky for me, I may or may not know when that's gonna happen to me.

The best part?

I get to live the last days, weeks, months, or hopefully years of my life, knowing I didn't waste a single second of it.

And that's exactly what I plan on doing.