Fated strings of love

Ch- 37 | AFTER YOU

Aditya

I am living a life of my dream, today I have everything, not because of my dad, but because of my struggle. There are people who loves me as there idol, I am successful but sometimes i think what's the point of anything when I can't be with the person I love.

I am scared to face tara, but at the same time I want to see her face so badly, whenever I think of her, it becomes hard to breathe, i started to have panic attacks, i was haunted by the thought of her. My nightmares were getting worse than before, as it was so hard to forget her, i started to have therapy sessions, it's been years of therapy but still I am not able to forget her. I tried to meet different girls, just to distract myself from the thoughts of her but NOTHING WORKS.

I feel so alone without her, the only best thing in my life is my songs, everyone loved my songs, so I started to write lyrics and sing them, i also worked as an actor in some musical movies, and there i met zoya malik,
She was the actress of the film I was working on, and for the better chemistry of us onscreen, we met and talked with each other sometimes, she was similar to tara in many things so I was reminded of tara, whenever I met her.

We were friends, but after we finished shooting for the film, she confessed to me that she likes me, I told her everything about tara, and said that
“ whatever happened was my fault, but i still love her, it's really hard for me to forget about her. ”

But she didn't want to give up, so she said, “ what if you'll be able to forget her?”
I told her that “ it's impossible, as she is in my very soul, zoya you are great, I am not gonna lie, but I know i will only end up hurting you like the others ”

She confidently said, “ maybe I'll be able to help you in forgetting that girl, don't reject me without even dating me ”

I scoffed and said, “ really then you can try, I won't mind ”

Well dating zoya wasn't a bad thing, more than a girlfriend, she was like a friend to me. After meeting her i started to smile again but every night my mind missed tara.

Maybe I am just searching tara in zoya. For a shoot of a music, we had to shoot in delhi, i came back to delhi after a really long time. I met mom & dad, they were really happy, I met sid, well I have met sid many times in these years as he was there, everytime I needed him like a brother. He is the only person I have contacted in all these years, I lost all my friend's contact number because someone stole my phone, and my new number is just for my private contacts, I went for the shoot of the song with zoya, it was the garden where i confessed to tara.

Everything about this place reminded me of tara, how she was avoiding me, how she twisted her ankle, how I told her about my feelings, how she closed her eyes, and everything. These memories are just so hard to forget, the more I try to forget, the more i remembered.

I want to look for tara, what if she is here, what are the chances for us to meet here again, after all how is she?, does she still think about me sometime?? I wonder how is she? Just thinking about her breaks my heart in million of pieces, what if she forgot about me??.
As I thought about her, i again started to have a panic attack right before shooting,

Zoya saw me and helped me, she told me “ breathe aditya, look at me, it's okay, everything is okay ” she tried to calm me down and gave me my medicines, after a while, i felt okay,
Because of me, shooting got delayed, but i still finished the shoot and went home to my room, i saw the childhood pic of tara, that i stole from her house, she looked really cute in it.
I want to meet her, but how ?
Next day as i was leaving i saw the wedding card of sanjana di, i asked mom about this and she told me that sanjana is getting married to her boyfriend. As i heard I felt really happy, so i called her, and talked with her, she sounded so happy, she told me to promise her to come to her wedding, so i told her i will definitely try my best.
I went to mumbai, and tried to complete my work in promotion of movie, and the release of my songs.

It was hard to attend the wedding so i cancelled my other recordings, because there is a possibility, that I can meet tara there and I don't want to miss this opportunity. I want to see her face, I want to feel the presence of her in my life, it feels like I will die if i didn't see her anymore.
So i packed my bags and went to jaipur by the first flight I got. As i reached there by evening, sidharth was suprised. He gave me the key to my room and said,
“ this is a gift from mine ”

What is he so happy about ?? I just don't like his cheeky smile, so i asked him
" what ???”
“ this is the key of the best room in this hotel” he smiled and said.

I took the key and went in the elevator. I saw my room, it was just like other rooms, a normal room, what's so special about this room??

After that I took a shower and got ready, it took me 2 hours to get ready, as I wanted to look the best of me. After getting ready i went to the dinner party.
I met sanjana and his boyfriend riyan, they both looked great together, i met mom and dad as they were suprised, as my eyes were searching for tara, I SAW TARA.
She was looking at me, the moment our eyes met, my heart stopped beating for a moment, she looked more beautiful than before, i really fell for her all again, in that red saree she looked so pretty, but what happened to her hairs, did she cut them, no matter what she still looks great. Before i would have realised my feets move towards her, i was walking in her direction, she looked away from me, but my eyes can't stop looking at her direction, it feels like I am under the influence of her. I can't control myself from moving toward her. I was infront of her but she wasn't looking at me, i took a drink and stood beside her.

I want to touch her, I want to feel that this is not a dream, I want to feel her. As i was looking at her, she looked at me.
Everyone started clapping, i saw that couples were dancing, so I tried to be brave and asked her for a dance, she looked at me and accepted my hand, as i was dancing i holded her hand, i pulled her closer to me, I can feel her smell, i want to avoid everyone in this room and hold her so tightly, and never let her go. She looked at me asked if I was fine or not.
How can I say that, i was dying everyday and night to feel her warmth in my arms.
So i lied, after that she looked at me with icy eyes and in cold manner and left.

I went After her and saw her, she went to washroom, i heard the sound of her sobs, she was crying so hard,
Did I hurted her that much??
Does she hate me now ?

I left from there, as we were dining all together, i saw tara, her eyes were red but she hided everything really well behind her fake smile. This is breaking my heart. After the dinner I left the party.

I went to the pool side with the bottle of wine and glass. I was drinking there alone,
As i was lost in my thoughts, tara came and sat beside me, i was surprised to see her with me, she looked at me and  smiled. I smiled and offered her wine.
But she refused.

“ it’s so awkward between us, I don’t even know what to say ” she said with an awkward smile

“ there was a time when we used to talk so much that time would fly by ” I said while looking at her eyes.

“can’t we just stay friends? Like before” she asked me

“ we can’t ” i said

As i said this she got upset, she stood up and was leaving, so i got up and held her hand and came closer to her and asked “what are you even trying to do ?”

“ n…nothing” she said

“ are you happy?...without me?” i asked her
She looked at me with the feeling of resentment that she wanted to hide so such.
“ you don’t have the right to ask me this” she said in anger.

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