The Only Living Boy in New York

THIRTY-THREE

Van

Taylor had been gone two days.

Thursday morning crept in slowly, the light stretching itself across my bedroom and reminding me that the room was empty besides me. I felt her absence everywhere and I was sick with myself over how much I missed her.

This was getting out of hand.

It was like I didn't know how to be myself without her. Maybe it was the fact that I knew she was further away than normal. She wasn't several blocks downtown, but rather, several thousand miles away, and three hours behind. If I called her right now, she wouldn't even answer. She was asleep, at least I hoped she was getting sleep. She sounded exhausted when I spoke with her yesterday afternoon.

I was doing better than I thought. I was doing an alright job at keeping myself busy and at least I had tonight to look forward to. Chloe and Tom invited me to dinner with them and I liked Chloe and Tom. They were good people. Tom was the type of friend I would have had back home and Chloe was a real ball-buster. Nothing like the women I was used to hanging around with before. Nothing like Ivy.

Her name twisted my stomach into knots. She hadn't tried reaching out since our run in at my place, but the fact that she knew where I lived bothered me. I'd never let her stay with me, never let her in, which meant she'd either followed me one night or investigated my whereabouts. Both options left me feeling on edge. I shouldn't have let things go on as long as I did with her. I shouldn't have led her on while I was falling for Taylor. And maybe, I shouldn't have kept Ivy out of the stories I told Taylor, but at this point, it felt wrong to bring her up.

I pushed Ivy out of my mind. I didn't need to worry about her anymore. I'd made that much clear to her when she barged into my living room.

I was looking forward to some time with Chloe without Taylor because I was hoping I could get to know Taylor more. Chloe seemed to know bits and pieces about her that she kept locked up, like her writing, and I wanted to see what I could find out. I also wanted Chloe to know how serious I was about her. I needed her to understand where I saw this going and how I felt about her.

I retreated to my studio for the better part of the afternoon, playing around with choruses and versus of different songs and settling into a routine with a few chords I'd come up with. I texted Dave to let him know I thought I was onto something and that we needed time to sit down and go through it all together. Part of me was ready to share it all with him but another part of was terrified. I needed a guitar player and a drummer. I didn't know many people here and I didn't want a band behind me that I couldn't vibe with. But Dave assured me that in due time, we would work logistics out. For now, he just wanted to hear what I had and we set up a date in a couple of weeks to review it all. That would give me the time I needed to make sure what I had was worth showing him.

By late afternoon I decided I needed a shower and to get cleaned up. I glanced at my phone for the first time since I'd been messaging Dave and noticed a missed call from Taylor about an hour before. I fumbled with the home screen quickly as I punched in my passcode and began calling her back. She answered after a few rings.

"Sorry I missed your call, love."

"It's alright." I could hear the smile on her voice. "I just had a break for a bit and I missed you."

I smiled and looked down at the floor. "It's crazy how much I miss you, Tay. It's only been a couple of days and I can't think about anything else."

"That feeling is mutual." I could tell she was in a crowd, the sound of chatter all around her audible as she asked me what my plans were for the evening.