obama x trump x biden x kim jong un x putin x reader

Couch Twerking

Donald Trump was twerking on his couch. He and Melania were vibing to the Bananarama cover of Venus by Shocking Blue: an iconic, beautiful song you NEED TO LISTEN TO. CLICK IT. CLICK IT NOW. LISTEN TO THE WHOLE SONG BEFORE YOU KEEP SCROLLING 👹

After a solid three minutes and thirty six seconds of throwing it back, trump got off the couch and grabbed his purse. Melania sat up in her edible chair and took hers as well.

"Hey Mel, wanna go to the mall?" Trump asked.

"Sure dude! What do you wanna get?"
Melania replied.

"Well," Trump started, "I want a wedding dress. Do you want anything?"

The lady thought. "Well, I saw these pretty studded leg garters on pinterest that I kinda want. Let's go! we should also grab boba!"

"Yeah!"

They got into their fancy Corvette and drove away blasting highway to hell by acdc on their speakers.

They pulled up to the mall, ready to shop.

The first place they went to was Claire's, because apparently Melania wanted yet ANOTHER unsanitary piercing. While they were there, Trump noticed someone.

Was that Y/N?

He blinked, and suddenly they were gone.

Maybe he was seeing things..

One septum ring later, the two headed to Victoria's Secret to check out the bridal collection.

"Hey Mel..does this dress make me look fat?" Trump asked his bestie.

"..yes."

"YIPPEE-"

Satisfied with their purchases, they headed to check out. A bored, obviously dead inside checkout lady lifelessly scanned the items.

"Your total is $551.14. Will that be cash or card?"

"Yes."

After bagging their stuff, they went and grabbed boba and then headed out to the car.

"Seriously Mel, did you really want a THIRD septum piercing? I mean, you look great, but WHY in GODDESS'S NAME WOULD YOU PICK CLAIRES??? You're not going to the hospital again." Trump asked.

Mel laughed, taking a sip of her matcha boba. "Chill, dude. I'll be fine. It was just one fatal infection that if not treated in t-minus fifteen minutes and forty three seconds would result in the anesthesia-less amputation of my entire nose. Look;" She gestured to her face, nose still intact. "it's still there."

Trump facepalmed. "No, it's not that. Hospital bills cost too much in this current economy. Yeah. I'm lookin' at YOU, Biden." he said, breaking the fourth wall.

They burst out into laughter, Mel holding on to Trump's arm in order to not fall over.

A crash was then heard.

The two turned to see a livid Y/N, standing a few meters away from them.

"Donald, who's that?"