On a warm Saturday evening, Charles and Diana lay together on a lounger on the deck and enjoyed the warm Sicilian evening sun.
"Darling...Do you remember our wedding day?" Charles asked her quietly and looked curiously at her as she sunbathed relaxed and looked at him slightly surprised
"Of course, Charles. How could I forget this most important day of my life?" Even after years, even those where everything wasn't always perfect between them, the mere mention of their wedding sparked a sparkle in Diana's eyes. On this day, July 29, 1981, everyone gathered at St. Paul's Cathedral to see them tie the knot. She had been a young blushing bride, her future husband of 32 years. An esteemed crown prince. The union made for the most fascinating fairy tale in the world.
"We carried our love deep within us that day. But not only her, but also the hope of a whole nation."
"Yes, it felt heavy carrying the weight of the world with you," Diana admitted quietly, but she would never regret that day. Especially not because it had produced her two young ones.
Charles couldn't help but hear a melancholy tone in Diana's words. He knew all too well that her bulimia had emerged there and what a burden his young bride was under. To feel the pressure of royal life on their shoulders.
Constantly trying to play the perfect fairytale princess without being able to make a mistake. Just waiting to be exploited by the paparazzi. He hadn't even bothered to protect her from it; in hindsight, it now seemed to him as if he had set the jackals on her.
A fact he still deeply regrets. Deciding to venture into thorny territory, he decided to broach a topic that was difficult for him himself. The health...Diana's health, Charles took a deep breath to give himself courage. "Diana...about your well, your health...This life...with the pressure to be perfect...could that have been the trigger for all your problems?"
Diana hid slightly against his shoulders to be able to avert her gaze. It had still been an uncomfortable topic for her. Even if they were just getting better. "My problems started long before I became a member of your family, Charles...I've wanted to talk about it many times but never dared."
Charles looked at Diana in slight surprise and then nodded encouragingly, hoping that she could trust him now, unknowingly holding her breath as Diana tried to gather her thoughts.
"Do you remember our engagement interview...?"
Charles nodded hesitantly, knowing that nothing good could come of it.
"You had put your hand on my waist and made a joking statement...about me being chubby," Diana admitted sheepishly and Charles looked at her with deep guilt.
"Yes, but Diana...It was just a joke...nothing more..."
Diana nodded slightly and fiddled with the fabric of her dress. Emotions rose stronger in the room as expected.
The image of an innocent young girl. Unhappy and insecure appeared in Charles' mind. An image that was filled with a sadness that Charles wanted to keep away from her forever.
"I know...that you never meant any harm...but that comment was just burned into my head without me being able to do anything about it. It's a fight...a terrible one."
The deck slowly filled with silence punctuated by a quiet stammer from Charles. "Diana...I never really meant...I can't believe I caused it..." Charles felt the normally warm Italian air slowly freeze and felt an unexpected guilt weighing down with him. The light-hearted joke that had passed his lips had led to an unwanted fight. "Diana," he finally murmured. "I...I'm sorry. I never meant to cause you pain. Especially not to this extent. I didn't know what impact my words could have on you."
Diana took his hand reassuringly. "It's not entirely your fault, Charles...but your comment was one of the triggers for it. Another Camilla," Diana admitted hesitantly, not knowing how she would react.
"Growing up in public is oppressive. I suspect that we were both victims of our circumstances in some way. That's why I always went to her...Camilla was the only normal thing I knew. For that normality. But I wanted you "Never hurt you. That's why I left her. Hoping to spare you one less pain." At the end, Charles trailed off and Diana gently squeezed his hand.
She knew all too well that he would never dare talk about his feelings and this was a huge step forward on his part. The conversation that evening was perhaps anything but regal or amusing. But it was one of the first real conversations they had openly with each other in years and, above all, the first step in really acknowledging Diana's struggle, but it was comforting for both of them to know that they were committed to each other.
