Jesus POV
It's just an ordinary day, just doing my jesussy baka thang. Lately daddy has been being kinda rude and making me actually do things (like was dying for a bunch of losers sins not enough, fucking hell some people really are pieces bum poo poo shit) like what the Fuck man, having to listen to people's shitty problems is already hard enough. He's probably on his period or something. (fuck off, he reminds me of mum) anyways, today he's asked me to looks for losers on earth to dump in hell. Like seriously why the Fuck can't his bitch ass not just make a disease that kills them off- oh shit he already did that. Fuck. Well I'm shit out of ideas.
Today I'm on the look out for the dumb butt heathens that I gotta send down unda to good ol' Lucy. When daddy was making other people make the bible I thought it would be funny to add something so in section 69, paragraph 420 that it states "thou who have Smol butt, shall be shit on by God or something". It means the gronks with no ass get chucked down to hell along with the Albinos and Rangas.
As my spirit flys over the land (I feel like the big ol' bat dude, I'm too fucking old to remember his name fucking bitch name... Fuck you.) I have yet to find a second victim to send off to hell. The first one was just some virgin loser from Florida. I still remember when one of my brothers pulled that prank. Weird fucking mutant people.
Over a big fatty hill I find the most beautiful fucking trees I've ever seen. They're long and tall and the leaves... oh the fucking leaves, they're so poofy and hairy... just... just like... my favourite fucking thing in the cock sucking world: big hairy balls. It's a sin.. I know that. But I just cant help but lust for the oh so scrumptious scrotum sacks. The one thing I miss so in my life, the one thing I love, Live for and want so much in my life again.
But alas... I fear I have outgrown the stage of my life that it acceptable to go ong for this stuff but then again fuck everybody else.
Onceler's POV:
Me, myself and by bodatious butt booty walk out of my house on a beautiful day to see some hairy fucker fondling my hairy bushes. He might be homeless. I fucking swear if I find one more god damn homeless naked guy imma go evil or some shit.
"OI CUNT FACE, YEAH OVER HERE YA BIG HAIRY CUM BAG!"
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Where Are You... God? Onceler X Jesus Satire
FanfictionJesus, the one true son of god meets a certain someone dressed in green and they get just a little too close... This is satire, soz if I offended any Christians but suck it anyways lol 🤪 Updates every few days. (That's a lie, I'm a lazy fuck and it...
