Where Are You... God? Onceler X Jesus Satire

"Everything...."

Onceie POV:
He looks deeply into my eyes and replies in a deep, sexy voice.... "Everything...."

He blushes

"W-well.... Sure sounds sick, I-I'll take one"
"Come into my house and I'll give you one...."

Go into my house first so that I can clean up the multiple unquestionables I left around after last night...

You know like uno cards, knitting needles, Thneeds, weeds and poor people with needs. After I clean up the multiple weird things I invite him in....

"Wow, n-nice place hotti-IMEANGAY-GUYIVENEVERMET"
"Oh, thanks" I say, "just wait a minute while I go get you a thneed" and I walk off into the next room.

Jesus POV:

Big dumpy guy walks into the other room and I look around the lounge from my seat on is super soft couch. He has a really nice house.... I can only wish to have a life like his, to be free to be myself, but I have no choice but to follow what Daddy says or he gets mad and kills a bunch of the small butted losers that live here. What fucking small assed losers, must suck living on a dying rock, anyways they can all eat shit and die.... Well maybe not dumpy guy.

He comes back into the lounge and comes over to where I'm seated and gives me a piece knitted pink fabric.

"This is a Thneed, I made it myself... My own invention" he says, proudly
"Wow.... It's... you're.... It's amazing" I say, twisting and turning it into a hat, then a scarf and finally.... A big, long, thick rod. I quickly make it back into a jacket. He looks at me with a glimmer in his eyes.
"What's your name, stranger. Sorry I forgot to ask before..." he trails off
"Oh- Uhm it's..." I studder...

If I tell him who I am... He might not accept me...

I start to panic, hes looking at me weird and I don't know what to say so I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind...

"Oh-err- Its- umm.... J-errm... Jesussy" I say as I go bright bink like a hippo, or a pink dildo.

"Your name is... Jesussy?" He says seductivly, but tbh he probably just said it normally except I'm retarded and because I thought he's trying to be a big fatty flirty flirt. Suddenly my mind goes blank and it's like I'm relying on instinct...

"It's whatever you want it to be handso- YEP, YEAH, ITS, UHHH, YEAH JESUSSY" I say in a panic, but he just has his normal smirk on his face. "A-anyways- I-ivE g-GoTtA G-gO" I say quickly, picking up the thneed a d heading to the door.

"Wait!" He says, grabbing my attention, "You never asked for my name..."

I look back at him surprised, 'STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, YOU FINALLY MEET A POTENTIAL BOYFR- FRIEND AND YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF, DUMB STUPID SON OF A WHORE DUDE MOTHER FUCKER-'

"It's Onceler" he says.
"I like it." I reply, my heart flutters

"Anyways, I think you're kinda Hot... Here's my Number..." He says biting his lips, "Call me, babygirl"

I instantly blush and look down, before looking back at him through my lashes. "Of course..."

And with that, I leave.