"OI CUNT FACE, YEAH OVER HERE YA BIG HAIRY CUM BAG!"
"W-what" replies Jesus, whimpering because he is super duper scared he got caught fondling big hairy- no... He can't admit....
"GET OFF ME FUCKIN LAND YA DUMB CUNT"
Jesus stops fondling the big hairy balls so that he can look a the smooth faced twat who shouted at him.
Onceler stops... He looks at jesussy, taking in all his, hot... Sexy features... Like his big man titties, scrumptious toes, meaty fingers that he could use to....
Onceie POV:
"EWWWW! WHO THE FUCK IS YOU HOMELESS GUY? GET OF MAH FOKIN LAWN BEFORE I CALL THAT YELLOW SHIT BISCUIT!" I shout, although I would never admit it, I'm actually kind of... Aroused by the homeless grogans arms that were connected to his Fleshy armies where he must keep his sleevies, and his... Scraggly, sexy, fuckable face... 'EWWW WAHTS WROZNG WITH MEMEMEMEME FOR THAINKING ALLA DEES THIINGSSS S S S, NAWWWWW IM STARAOIGAHTTTT'
Jesus POV:
I turn around to look at the bitch ass matcha poki stick lookin twat who just fuckin called me homeless and I see... OH MAH FUCKING DAD. The most beautiful man I have ever seen... his long arms attached to his skinny torso and his long thick neck that has a head I want to give head attached. Below his waist is a pair of thicc thighs followed by some sexy kneecaps and long size 12 feet for me to sit on. As he walks up to me I see it... the most beautiful Dump Truck I have ever seen, jiggling, wiggling, wriggling with every stride he takes.
As he looks me in the eyes I feel butterflies in my tummy and my face flush red like a lobster. My lovely leggies turn to grape jello and I start to tremble at the mear presence of his massive dumpy. I shudder at all the thoughts of what I can do with his dumpy.
"Well-?" He says, surprised as I look at him through my big bushy lashes and pout my lips for maximum sexiness effect.
"O-oh" I start "I d-didn't realise you were here" I poke my butt out and bat my luscious lashes "I-I can leave I-If you want m-me to..." I trail off for dramatic effect and start to walk away, shaking my ass like shakira to gain his attention.
"WAIT" he shouts, desperately trying to gain my attention. "I-I r-really like how musculy ya arms are... d-do you w-want a thneed"
"W-what is a t-thneed?"
"Why, its a thing that all thing that all people need"
"W-well what c-can it do?"
He looks deeply into my eyes and replies in a deep, sexy voice.... "Everything...."
YOU ARE READING
Where Are You... God? Onceler X Jesus Satire
FanfictionJesus, the one true son of god meets a certain someone dressed in green and they get just a little too close... This is satire, soz if I offended any Christians but suck it anyways lol 🤪 Updates every few days. (That's a lie, I'm a lazy fuck and it...
