Jesus, the one true son of god meets a certain someone dressed in green and they get just a little too close...
This is satire, soz if I offended any Christians but suck it anyways lol 🤪
Updates every few days. (That's a lie, I'm a lazy fuck and it...
I can't get him out of my mind, his sexy legs and long ass fucking feet, pretty nose and fat dumpy cheeks. His Chiseled jaw that makes him look like a fucking Greek god and pouty lips, not to mention his calm soothing voice.
As soon as I rose up to heaven I sped past Daddy, (who I usually at least greet to stay on his good side) and went straight up to my room. Jumping up and down on my bed and giggling like an American school girl from a shitty movie.
I've been contemplating what to text him all week, I just can get him out of my mind~
Onceler POV:
It's been a while since I met Jesussy, he seems Soo nice. My family has been hassling me all week to make more money, honestly I kind of want them to go. They're honestly not doing anything, just being annoying, fat fucks like always.
Meeting Jesussy has really taken some weight of my sexy, massive, colossal shoulders.
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I'm just waiting for his cute little ass to text me back. I just hope he doesn't just... No... He will text me back, he has to. Right...?
Anyways, I swear I'm not reading into things, there really is something there, he just has to realize it.
Jesussy POV:
IVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!
It's taken me a whole week to figure it out but I've finally made my mind up. I'm going to start by texting him a simple... "Hey". That way it can't go wrong! I get up off my ass and pick up my phone, going into his contact and I begin to type.
Jesussy: Hey, it's Jesussy (:
Jesussy: We met, last week?
My heart is beating and I feel like I'm going to pass the Fuck out as I look into my screen.
Onceler: Oh, Hey.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE TEXTED ME BACK!!!!!!!
Oh shit, what am I supposed to text back? Fuck, I did not think this through. Shit Fuck, ok I guess we're improvising.
Jesussy: How you doing?
Yeah good, short.
Onceler: Nothin' Much
Onceler: U?
Jesussy: Oh I'm just sitting in my bed watching stuff
Onceler: Oh? What type of stuff (;
Jesussy: Wouldn't you like to know lover boy, hahaha
Three days later...
We continue to talk every day for the next three days, about everything... Our favorite movie, porno, and we go on to rate celebrities asses. We have so much in common, I can't help it but every time he texts and calls my heart flutters and I get lost in him.
Onceler: Hey slut
Jesussy: Oh! Hey Oncie! What's up?
Onceler: Not much Je-baby, but umm...
Jesussy: Ya?
Onceler: Are you busy tomorrow night?
Jesussy: What is it oncie?
Onceler: You wanna go a a fantastic fucking date ya dumb slutty cunt?
Jesussy: Oh Oncie! I don't know what to say you fat ass!
I do. I've been looking forward to this all fucking week and if I mess this up I'll fucking kill myself, take back all that dying for sins bullshit, naw I'm dyin fo my own sins. Thank-ya-very-much.
Onceler: Just say yes, baby-cheeks.
Jesussy: FUCK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck what daddy has to say, I'm sick of living under him. I'm tired of pretending to be his perfect little boy. My name is Jesus, Go fuck yourself and eat a dick because u ain't never gonsta be ready for this fat ass to kick you in the asshole for not accepting it. Eat shit and die haters 🤪🖕
