To Love Again !!!

Chapter - 32

Amrit sat in the car as it went towards the market. Abhay had got stuck in some work and had called her to tell her he would be late. But he had arranged a car for her to go and get whatever she needed. Amrit sighed. She had wanted to go with him. Recently she had noticed she wanted to be around him more than she liked. She was learning so much from him but it was not just that, this strange link she shared with him pulled her towards him no matter how much she resisted. A lot of men would find that flattering but if Abhay came to know about it she was sure he would get uncomfortable.

He was everything she had wanted in a husband. Kind, understanding, compassionate, intelligent, there was a bit of arrogance in him too and it suited him but in all he was a great guy. And sometimes she could see his hang ups. Despite his confidence he sometimes seemed unsure. Why was that? Was it because of his first marriage? Could be. Sarla had told her he had been riddled with doubts and guilt after his marriage broke. But for such a smart person she was confused to see how he didn't realize that she was a different person and this was a different situation. Even if it were the same situation which was not the case she would react differently. She took in a deep breath. What could she say? She herself had hang ups. She still couldn't bring herself to fully believe in him either. Not yet. But she was on her way. The more time she spent with him the faster she would reach destination Trustville.

After he had left this morning she had found his comment thought provoking. She analyzed how she had lived her life in the past five years. Alone. Loneliness did that to you. Anger too. But she would have shattered if she hadn't let anger find roots inside her. She hadn't been this way before. Always ignoring things when they happened treating them as life's trivial challenges and then when the biggest challenge came she failed, miserably unable to deal with the pain and shame. So she had created this shell around her a sort of boomerang effect where whoever shot things at her would receive it right back with the same intensity that they had thrown at her. Though her shell was not perfect. But it kept her safe. And now she was here with a man who seemed too good to be true. What was she supposed to do? Let go of her carefully created shell and open herself to see if she would get hurt again or this time round life had provided her with a shield that would protect her indefinitely while she came into her own. It was a tough decision. And it was all a matter of trust again.

She had then decided it was too much thinking and gone ahead and called Sarla and Rajesh to see how they were doing. And at the delight she heard in their voices she felt good. Then she had called Jay who complained about the hot weather in Bangalore and the work that had piled up in the past one week that he hadn't been there. She had called up beeji too to see how she was recovering from all the hustle bustle from last week. Reluctantly she had called her mother. Roop had been all gaga over how everything had gone so smoothly and that all the guests had finally left satisfied. She had asked how Amrit was faring and she had replied she was fine. She didn't know how to talk to her mother anymore neither did her mother. They had become strangers. But she thought it was for the better.

The car came to a stop. She got down and the driver told her he would wait in the parking lot on the other side. He even gave his number to her in case she needed help or didn't know which way to go. She thanked him and looked around her. Pathankot was not a big bustling city. She watched as people went about their business. Vendors, shopkeepers, book stalls, eating places. Yup a typical view of a market. She went to the grocery store with her list of items. He told her it would take a while before he got everything ready so she gave him some advance and went towards the vegetable market. Not sure what Abhay liked to eat she took a little of almost everything. For two people one really did not need a lot. She was not an enthusiastic cook but she liked to eat. Even in Delhi she would cook for herself most times. When she returned to the shop for her groceries she realized she had spent practically all her money. Damn. She hadn't spoken to Abhay about how she could use money till she started earning again. It was important and she had talked about everything but that. So far she had used her own account. In Chandigarh she didn't need to take any money out because everything was provided for by her in laws or Abhay. Certain times of course she hadn't known how to ask Abhay for cash so she had used her own but she couldn't do that for a long time. She will have to ask him. Besides this was all for the house so ideally he should pay for it, but he would have had he been there. She carried the heavy load and started back for the parking lot. Money was not a big issue but they should be clear on certain things. As she walked past a chaat stall she bumped into a lady and she immediately apologized.