To Love Again !!!

Chapter - 71

Amrit had yet to see a more soulful expression. Or a more sad one. She couldn't decide which was it? He had bared his soul to her and for the first time she saw the cracks in the shiny armor he wore and presented to the world. The scars he bore of that one mistake he had made. How could she have missed all of it? She remembered when they had met at the café before their marriage and how an accidental comment on her part had pained him. She had seen a fleeting reflection of it that day and never since. How well had he masked how he felt? And Natasha had married his best friend? She was shocked. How could she do that? Chuck her she could do anything how could Abhay's friend do that? Granted they were already divorced but being Abhay's best friend hadn't he known what that would do to him. How come he hadn't known the kind of person Natasha was? Abhay must have seen it as a betrayal. A double one at that. She was so angry at them. How dare they hurt Abhay's trust like that? Were they in an affair? Was that why Natasha had called it quits with Abhay?

"Were they in an affair?" Amrit asked haltingly not sure if she should ask right now.

"I think it started after we separated before the divorce," he said and took in a deep breath, "but I can't say for sure. And her being with another man didn't matter because she had killed anything I had ever felt for her a long time ago. What hurt was she had chosen my best friend to get back at me and he despite knowing everything betrayed my trust," he said and then fell silent.

Amrit's foot was killing her but the pain she felt in her foot was nothing in comparison to the pain she felt for him. How could anybody reduce another human being to such a state where he lived in self-inflicted guilt and remorse? She failed to understand the insensitivity of people. And they had the gall to call themselves human. Evolved? Amrit scoffed at the idea. Simrit, Varun, Natasha, Kapil, they were all the same and they weren't the only ones. There were many more out there. How could no one see what a beautiful person Abhay was? How could Natasha never realize what a gem she had in her clasp and she had like a fool let him go? Because she was so self-absorbed she couldn't see anybody beyond herself answered a tiny voice. But why had Abhay suddenly opened up about his past? Was there a reason? There had to be.

"Why did you tell me all this today?" she asked.

"To prepare you," he answered quietly.

"For what?" she asked confused.

"Kapil Raheja is being transferred here," he said emotionlessly, "and most probably his current wife would accompany him. There is a party on Saturday where they might be present and we have to be in attendance," he told her.

Was this some kind of joke? Amrit was stunned. Why was life so cruel? Why to him? She didn't mind meeting the two. She had a few things to tell them. A few home truths and she wasn't shy of doing so but him. He was a different person. He would never let his true feelings known. How he must have felt when he must have found out about this? No wonder he had flipped last evening. This was what Harpreet must have told him. He must have been reliving his past since yesterday. She knew he needed her right now. He needed her to understand and since he probably wasn't in the state to rationalize she was. She held onto his wrist and pulled her behind him as she hobbled back inside and he just followed. He didn't resist. Once inside she went straight to the living room and flopped on the sofa. He sat next to her.

And then Amrit turned and hugged him tightly. He didn't immediately lock his arms around her but she didn't think too much about it. Slowly very slowly she felt his arms move and then tighten its hold.

"They don't deserve this Abhay," she said as she stroked his hair gently. "I understand what happened and I also understand how you felt what I don't understand is your guilt," she said softly. "You are not responsible for other people's behavior. You cannot take blame for how they act. Nor can you punish yourself for being in love," she said trying to make him understand, "you loved her. And I am sure the kind of man you are you must have loved her very much. Hell, all you wanted was to spend your life with her and that is no crime. You did not commit a mistake so stop thinking like that. I cannot say I understand how you felt when she broke your heart because...because I have never loved someone and lost him. But I understand betrayal, breaking of trust and how much pain it causes especially if done by people close to you. Why you couldn't talk to anybody? Why you closed up on the people closest to you? I recognize all of that because I know," she said even as tears slipped through her eyes. She knew because it was something she had done too. The only difference in her case she had been angry and in his he was repentant. "And I am not blaming you for one single thing because I can't," she said and lifted her face from where she had been resting it against his shoulders and it broke her heart to see tears in his eyes. She was angry at the people who were responsible for them. She cupped his face in her hands and made him look into her eyes. "I believe you Abhay Malhotra and I believe in the person that is you. Your past doesn't matter to me because had it mattered I would have said no a long time ago. Let go of this amassed guilt you have collected over the years because most of it is misplaced," she said.