To Love Again !!!

Chapter - 80

Abhay had to get out of the house or break and beg Amrit to stay. He couldn't do that. There was no hope for him. But why should he drag her into his world of doom. He wasn't the man he was anymore. Natasha had seen to that. He had heard what she had said and it had hurt like hell. How come she still had the capacity to hurt him like that? Because you gave her the power answered a voice from inside him. Why did she matter to him? What kind of twisted game was he playing with himself? It was four years plus some months now. He was married again and to the world's most wonderful woman. He couldn't find another like her even if he spent his entire life searching. And she was here in person residing in his house, in his heart. He loved her so much it hurt. When had that happened he didn't question. He didn't need to. Since the beginning of their relationship he was drawn to her like a beacon. She had given him happiness, peace, had mended his broken heart and spirit and yet. And yet he had asked her to leave just like that. How pathetic could he be? His family wanted him to move on, his friends wanted him to get on with life and life was here with Amrit and he refused to accept it. Refused to accept what she had to offer. She had offered him her heart, baring it to him a few minutes ago and what had he done? Crushed it, ruthlessly. He had heard her pain when she had asked him if this was what he wanted. And he had said yes. He had to be the biggest idiot on earth.

Amrit had fought for him. She had given back word for word and more to Natasha. She hadn't let her get away with it. She hadn't let her insult him. And this was not the first time she had done it either. She had fought with her own sister for him. Going to the extreme when she had slapped her and all for him. She had done so much for him and his family. Given hope to his parents that she would make him whole again. And what had he done in return?

He had hurt her, so bad he won't be surprised if she did take him up on his offer and left. He raked a hand angrily through his hair. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve her love. No matter what she did he was too broken inside to ever heal completely. Natasha had proven that hadn't she? Or had he let her prove it to him deliberately? What did that mean?

He thought about it. It meant he had felt hurt about what she had said because he couldn't still think she was that deteriorated in spirit but she was. He had despite everything she had done and said savored an image of hers where he wanted to absolve her of faults. Why? Because he had loved her once. What kind of sick answer was that? But it was true. He couldn't accept that he had made a mistake in judging her. That she had always been a spoilt ****. He had always maintained that it was his doings that had driven her away to another man. He had wanted to feel that guilt so he could punish himself for the mistake he had made when he had married her. It didn't make any sense. But then the mind rarely made any sense. He had mistaken attraction for love. And at his age he hadn't understood the side effects of a mistake like that. He kept telling himself that his late hours, her isolation because of his job profile, his transfer away from her friends and family had been responsible for their separation. But he had never paused to think that there were other women too out there who went through similar things and still stayed true to their husbands. Amrit had been right. It was not him it was her. It was Natasha all the way. Her shallow, frivolous nature could never keep her true to anyone for a long time. Her need to be constantly in limelight, her vanity, her selfishness it was all her. Strange, isn't this what his mother had always told him. His father had always maintained. That he was not guilty of anything. Natasha hadn't been a child who did not know what she had been doing when she had married him or when she had decided to leave him. She was conscious of all her actions. She was responsible for everything.

Abhay looked up into the dark sky as if that would give him any answers. What he felt for Amrit was so much more that every other emotion paled in front of it. He couldn't see her upset. He couldn't see her sad. He couldn't watch her cry. He couldn't stand for her to be quiet or submissive. He wanted to protect her above everything. He needed her to be with him for always. He needed her to bring back the semblance to his life. He needed her to feel alive again. Without her he was just that, a shell. And he didn't want to go back to the way he had been living before she had come in his life. He wanted to have coffee with her every morning, to hold her every night, to know that she was the reason he smiled. And life would become easy.

Man it was so clear now why couldn't he have been this clear earlier before he had callously taken her heart in his hand and crushed it. He hoped she would forgive him. She better forgive him. He had no other option. He would go mad if she decided to leave him. He was such a fool. She had trusted him to do right by her and he had taken away that trust and shown it the door. Damn him. He rushed towards the house. He would beg her to forgive him if he had to. He would tell her to give him one chance to prove how much he cared, how much he loved her and he would never let her regret it. Never.

He reached the house and found the door open. That was weird he remembered closing the door. Why was it open? He entered cautiously. Years of training kicking in. Just as he was about to go upstairs to check his eye caught an open notepad on the coffee table. He wasn't losing his mind it hadn't been there when he had left. So what was it doing on the table and why was it open? And then dread filled him. He went and picked it up. It was from Amrit. And all it said was

'I am leaving just as you wanted. You left before I could tell you so I am leaving this note so you don't worry. I am going home.

Amrit'

Abhay felt as if someone had taken a knife to his heart and carved it right out. She had left. Already. At the dead of night. What was she, nuts? The pain he felt at reading this two line note she had left was more than anything he had ever endured. And this time it was his fault. What was he going to do now? She couldn't have gone far. He would go after her and bring her back. And to hell with begging for forgiveness, he will hogtie her and get her back if the need arose. How dare she leave him like this? Abhay went towards the drawer and took out the keys to his gypsy. Damn her, if she thought he would let her get away then she was highly mistaken. What he had said had been in anger, in bitterness? He hadn't meant it. Every other thing she would ignore but this she took to heart. He quickly reversed his gypsy and went after her.

When he got his hands around that pretty neck of hers he would...he would kiss her senseless so she never left him again. He enquired at the gate and they confirmed a taxi had gone towards the highway just a few minutes ago. He hoped to catch her before that. Once on the highway he wouldn't know which direction the taxi went. She could go either way towards Ambala or Chandigarh. After all she hadn't mentioned anything about which home she was going. He looked at the watch on the dashboard. It said four thirty. Who took a taxi alone at this hour? Apparently Amrit Malhotra did. How he will find the taxi he had no clue? He just hoped he would catch her soon otherwise he had no idea what he would do?

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