don't let it out

116

Millie

The whole entire ride back to the hotel was silent. He didn't talk and so did I. He just continued driving, eyes on the road, with his hands slowly caressing mine.

I bit my lip to prevent myself from blurting out something. I thought that he might want some peace and quiet after what happened earlier.

It's as if my world stopped for a moment when I saw him crash through a barricade. He jumped out of his car, removed his helmet and balaclava to see his cheek dripping with blood.

I stood there, unable to move, as I watched them bring him to the medical center to check for any injuries. My breathing was hard and the next thing I knew was his mom rushing after his dad who only gave me an incredulous look.

After a while, I received a text message from him that I should wait for him in the car. I wanted to go check on him, too, but I glanced at the opening of the medical center. He was talking with his mom and dad, his mom looking so anxious and worried. His dad's expression was stoic, a hint of disappointment, as he crosses his arms.

I pursed my lips as I continue to watch them, and I think I shouldn't have. The next thing I witnessed was just muffled yells and shouts from his dad. Forrest didn't do anything but to look at his father's eyes. I didn't know what they're talking about, but just my watching them gave my heart so much pain. I wish I could help Forrest but I can't.

When Orion interjected, I saw how his father's hand landed on Forrest's cheek that made his head go sideways. Our eyes locked and I saw his expression changes. From coldness to worry. Worry about me witnessing all those things.

We arrived at the hotel still not hearing anything from him. We reached the door and he pushed in the keycard. He flicked the lights as soon as we got inside and were greeted by the cold air from the AC unit.

I removed my shoes to the side, and I watch him throw his keys onto the other bed and sat on the edge of the bed we're using. His expression is stoic as he stares emptily at the wall.

I sighed as I stood in front of him. I extended my arms to cup his cheeks and lift his head only to see his eyes glistening with tears. I rested my forehead against his and tears started going down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumb.

"Tell me everything you feel," I whispered.

"I..." he started. "I thought I was going to die," he said, his voice cracking.

His shoulders began to shake as more tears come down from his eyes.

"I thought I was going to die," he repeated. I closed my eyes, a tear also falling.

"You're here, love. You're here. I'm with you. It's alright. Everything's alright," I said.

He shook his head. "No. Everything's not alright. When I was in the car I thought I was going to die. When papa slapped me, and you saw it, I felt my world crumble apart. You shouldn't have seen that. You shouldn't have seen how cruel he is.

"While I was at the medic, mama was so worried and so was Orion but do you know what my father said? He said that I was so stupid for missing that turn and instead crashing into the barricade. He said that maybe I should've hit the car harder until I realize how stupid I am."

More tears form my eyes. His voice continues to crack. It's like my heart is constantly receiving jabs and cuts every time his voice cracks but he still keep talking.

"It hurts. So. Fucking. Bad. So, I told him that he's an awful father. He's a douchebag. He's cruel. And I loathe him. And then he slapped me. It's not the first time, but I felt more pain than before. Not because of the hurtful words and phrases, but you saw it. And you shouldn't have. You don't deserve to witness that cruelty."

I shushed him as his sobs grew louder. I pulled him to a hug, his hand circling around my waist. His grip was tight and I can feel his tears on my shirt but I did not care. All I think right now is him.

"It's going to be alright. I'm here. I'm always here for you. It's going to be alright. I love you," I assured him while wiping my own tears.

His sobs last for a few minutes until he slowly stopped. I sat beside him, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Water?" I asked him and he nodded.

"I'm sorry I got your shirt wet," he said looking at my shirt.

"It's fine," I said giving him a bottled water from the fridge. "We should rest."

He nodded.