Gray Walls [Published under Popfiction]

Epilogue

I lived a tough life and got through it. It was never easy, but I made it here. In all the pain I endured, from all the disappointments I have felt, and from how my heart has been broken over and over again, I've finally found an antidote. Him. He was my antidote. With him, I found serenity after all the chaos.

"Are you ready?" marahang pinisil ni Aldous ang aking kamay nang lumapag ang sinasakyan naming pribadong eroplano pabalik ng Pilipinas. We were escorted with all his bodyguards. Buhat niya si Sian na nakasuot ng kaparehong damit niya at buhat ko naman si Alma na nakasuot naman ng parehong kasuotan ko. I am nervous. I've never been here for quite a long time.

Ang kambal ay panay libot ang tingin sa mga madadaanan naming lugar. It's another new environment for them. "This is where mommy and daddy live," kwento ko sa kanila. Hindi nagtagal ay nagsawa na rin si Alma sa katitingin sa labas kaya naman ay pinaglaruan niya na lamang ang dala niyang manika.

I'll be meeting Mama and Papa tomorrow. How shall I face them? I honestly don't know but I know in my heart that if I miss this chance to meet them, I'll regret it till my last breath. "It's gonna be okay," bulong sa akin ni Aldous habang nakahiga ako sa kanyang braso. Tulog na ang mga bata dahil napagod sila sa ilang oras naming byahe mula Japan. Yumakap ako nang mahigpit kay Aldous. I can still remember how I left him here, sleeping peacefully.

"I'm sorry."

"Hmm..."

"For leaving you while you sleep worry free here that night," pinagsalikop ko ang mga daliri namin. He ran his thumb on my hand.

"You liked the cake?"

"I brought it with me, you baked it for me... I couldn't leave it."

"My first thought when I realized you really left, I wish I was that cake. I wish you brought me with you too, just like that cake..."

"I'm sorry."

"I almost lost my mind that time, I couldn't find you. I was so disappointed of myself."

"I was disappointed too, of myself and the people around me. So, I decided to cut ties with them, and I realized I didn't really want to cut ties with them. I just needed time and space to breathe from all the pain they poured me. I thought I'll be able to heal myself alone and with enough time I needed... I realized I will only be healed once I forgive them."

"You're too pure sometimes I feel like you're too much for me... that I don't deserve you. But I'm trying all my best to always deserve you."

"You deserve me, Aldous, in all ways, always."

Nang magising kami kinabukasan ay hinatid muna namin ang mga bata sa mga magulang ni Aldous. They were so happy to meet the twins. Sa umpisa ay tahimik pa ang kambal nang ipakilala namin sila sa lolo at lola nila pero hindi nagtagal ay sumama rin sila sa mga ito. Mamamasyal daw sila buong araw at sa tono pa lang ng boses ng mommy ni Aldous alam kong i-spoil nila ang mga apo nila.

"Let them. They were so excited to meet them," bulong sa akin ni Aldous bago kami umalis doon.

We needed to travel by the sea kasi wala pa namang airport doon sa aming probinsiya. Si Orlan lang ang sinama namin upang hindi gaanong agaw-pansin ang pagpunta namin doon. Nagmaneho na si Orlan upang maipasok ang kotse sa loob ng barko. Nang makapasok na ang kotse ay bumaba na kami roon  at nagtungo kami sa itaas na bahagi ng barko. Kaunti lang ata ang luluwas ngayong araw sa probinsiya, walang gaanong tao rito sa itaas. Tanghali nang makarating kami sa piyer ng barko kaya naman ay tiyak na gabi na bago kami makarating sa amin.

Nagpadala ako ng mensahe kay Mama, hindi ko alam kung nabasa niya ba iyon. Siguro ay nagulat siya na sa ilang taong lumipas ay muli akong nagpadala ng mensahe sa kanya. Humawak ako sa railing ng barko at pinanood ang paghampas ng mga alon. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa akin ni Aldous mula sa aking likuran.