Before I go any further
I really need u to know
I've been an observer
hanging in your shadow
I owe you an apology
for the pain you've had to endure
It's my fault, honestly
not allowing you to feel secure.
I guess I never learned
the importance of loving you.
learned at an early age,
how to block the pain out.
hide you in a cage
to protect you from the crowd
but I've seen the repercussions
so I'm opening the gate
no more interruptions
no more having to wait
it's a very toxic pattern
that I have come to adapt
my heart has been tattered
its been broken in fact
too many times to count
how many times it's been attacked
but I never took into account
all the damage it would attract.
learning to love you will be hard
but it is truly a must
to learn to love these scars
so that I may learn to trust
not everyone will hurt me
I have to tell myself.
in all actuality
it lies somewhere else
I've masked the symptoms with substances
to not deal with the pain but
I'm tired of feeling the numbness
and living my life in vain.
so if I wake up tomorrow
I'll thank God for another day
even thank him for the sorrows
tell him sorry I've disobeyed
I look you in the eye
and say my affirmations
I'll try hard not to cry
as we make the transformations
I hope u understand
I never hurt u on purpose
Taking back the power,
we never did deserve this.
SNLpoetry
05/2022
©
