not sure why I'm still trying to revive this
it's been a long time since his kiss was a kiss
I can't make him love me
not when I'm unheard and unseen
when I think about it, it's been damaging to my self esteem.
because when you play with fire
eventually you're sure to get burned.
but it's made me a fighter,
that much I learned.
His love I desire but
His love, I never earned
He says that he loves me
I assume he has his reason
truth is, I become weakened
because loving someone who doesn't love you back
literally rips out your heart
and watching them love someone else
completely tears it apart
there are no words that could compare to the aching in my chest
living in the same house as him, but feeling like a guest.
Just empty, so hollow.
So much I want to say, but instead I sit in my sorrow.
I know it will never change this dynamic.
Every night, I wake up in a panic
when I dream of him leaving..
so I stay in a relationship when inside I'm screaming
praying, to be accepted, knowing he isn't affected.
thinking we once had connected,
knowing now, I was only rejected.
Never once was I respected.
This heartbreak... it was so unexpected.
SNLpoetry
07/2021
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