I've been doing soul searching, trying to get back to me
For I have been forced to wake up inside, spiritually.
hoping that I will find a way to being free
I must unbury all the things I buried deep.
See, I've been running now for years, maybe even more
I try to block the pain out, but it hurts me to my core.
I'm not one of those people who could ever just ignore.
I'm the girl who runs away from it, always keeping score.
Never seeing it for what it was, and that always lead to war.
A war within myself that I seem to never win
Always feeling guilty for the sin that I lived in.
Even though people hurt me, I still try to forgive
That didn't mean I had to let them back in my life again.
You can forgive someone and love them from a distance.
Even though, it's hard to believe people could be that twisted
but because I saw that, I had to make sure I stayed consistent...I gave chance after chance, time after time
It got to the point I lost my mind.
unable to move on, leaving my soul behind,
Leaving parts of it with them, for we were once entwined.
Now my soul and body must get back correctly, aligned.
I gave my heart to someone who didn't care about me.
I thought we were in love, but I was, unfortunately
My eyes were blind, I couldn't see
& being in love made me forget how much it had to bleed.
Missed opportunities were lying at my feet.
So many lonely nights, without a wink of sleep?
yet, I continued searching, inside my soul down deep
to heal the pain inside that my heart continued to seep.
If you wonder what I was thinking,
I'll let u take a little peak
inside my head where all my thoughts still creep.
I needed a change.
One that planted a positive seed.
I just wanted a change to occur,
but that had to happen inside of me.
SNLpoetry
03/2023
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