Just a Little Longer

Chapter Fourteen: They Didnt Show Up

"You have a place in my heart that no one else ever could have."
- Unknown

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HAYDEN

I woke up not too long later. The sun was just starting to rise as I looked out the window.

I rubbed my eyes as I let out a sigh.

I was still tired but I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

I laid in bed for a while just staring at the roof.

I thought back to the night before and a smile made its way to my lips.

I liked talking to him. It was... nice.

I remembered our conversation about the sun and the moon and the reminders it brought. I liked how he added on to it. It made me feel like someone understood.

Or at least made me feel like someone cared.

I was always the one who did the listening but now, with him, it was like I did most of the talking. It was weird and sometimes I was lost on what to say but he'd fill it and get me talking again somehow.

The silence we had didn't bother me either.

I felt comfortable with him when we were talking and when we were quiet. I liked that. No one's ever made me feel that way before.

I was so tired I ended up falling asleep on him, surprisingly.

Thinking back on it I felt embarrassed for how I acted but my brain was barely awake.

Then he took me to my room and laid me down.

I remember I asked him to stay and wait for me to sleep. I don't know why I did that but regardless, I was just glad he did.

My eyes traveled to the spot where I last saw him, settling on the desk in the corner of my room, on the things near and around it.

I stared at them for a while before hesitantly placing my feet on the floor and letting them carry me to it.

A sigh escaped me as I looked at the guitar and violin.

The guitar was something I played for fun. I enjoyed playing it but the violin was always something I loved.

I let my fingers run over the smooth surface as I thought.

I wanted to become a violinist.

Hayley always encouraged me with that.

She loved when I played for her.

Sometimes she just listened and sometimes she danced.

She was a beautiful dancer. She'd tell me how she'd love to be a dancer one day but she also wanted to help people.

It always made me feel selfish for my silly little dream.

But it was the one thing I was ever sure about in my life and I didn't want anyone to take that from me.

I thought it would be ok to just let myself be selfish for one little thing.

I tried to play again after she died but it reminded me too much of her. I didn't even know where to start.

And now I don't know what I want anymore.

I was at a loss just like I was with everything. I wasn't even sure I wanted anything at all anymore.

Everything just seemed to not mean... anything.

My gaze traveled over the desk that was full of things that reminded me of her.