Stuck with the Male Lead

76. Do You?

I felt him go stiff, Ethan froze. While his hands were on either side of me, I could feel them tremble as I kissed him. I kissed him with all my might. I kissed him to show him how much I wanted him to stop. 

His eyes widened as I softly kissed him. While he was dazed, I continued to kiss him. 

After what felt like eternity I slowly stopped and looked into his eyes, my hands still cupping his face between my hands. Our noses were only inches apart, I slowly caressed his cheek.

He beautiful blue eyes were still wide, clearly shocked. He stared at me without blinking as if I would disappear if he blinked.  I felt amused, he looked like a kid waiting for his elder to guide him.

"You..you...what did you...why..." he stuttered struggling to form a sentence.

It was my first time seeing the great Ethan King so flustered, so shocked. He who could stand in front anyone without shying away, he who handled tricky situations with calmness and confidence was here in front of me like a lost puppy. Cute..

"You idiot..." I whispered smiling," If you won't let me speak how am I going to tell you how I feel about you? "

His was even more shocked when I said that, I could see shock, disbelieve, nervousness and expectation into his eyes.

I unknowingly drew circles with my thumb on his cheek and continued looking into his eyes," I'm so sorry."

"What..."

" I am so sorry that you had to go through so much pain because of me, I am so sorry for making you wait for so long, I am so sorry for troubling you, for hurting you again and again, for not understanding your feelings sooner, for not coming to you when you needed me the most and sorry leaving you."

This apology was long due, I wanted to tell him how much guilty I was to let him go thorough all this for so many years. Sorry for being a fool and leaving everyone. 

" I might be out of my head to not understanding your feelings before. I was so selfish that I couldn't see anyone else' pain while I was going through mine. I thought no one else could be in more pain than me, I was so into myself that I turned blind eye to everyone else. I was stupid too push you all away. I caused everybody to go through so much pain. I wanted everyone else' life to be fucked just because mine was fucked."

Tears slipped from my eyes, I sniffed trying to control them but to no avail they continued to slip. I felt pain for myself, for him, for my parents, for my friends for everybody around me. I wanted to condemn to my sins. I was selfish, I was stupid, I was an idiot.

" Don't...don't say that" he whispered, trying to wipe my tears.

I held his hand which was wiping my tears, I leaned into his palm. I took my hands away placing them on my lap. I felt ashamed when he did not blame me for anything. 

" Why are you...."

" Ethan, I love you!" I interrupted him," I love you so much that I cant live without you anymore."

At this moment, I didn't care about anything else, I didn't care if he would reject me. I didn't care if he would not like me. I didn't care.

I bit my lower lip and plucked up courage to face this," We have already kissed, I have already confessed my feelings to you. It doesn't matter if you say no. I'll keep pursuing you." I finally declared.

Ethan seemed to be frozen solid. He stared wide-eyed with and expression of complete disbelief. 

I felt awkward being stared at, maybe he didn't like me anymore. Many questions swirled into my mind. But I had to keep calm. 

"It's okay if you..umm..." 

Before I could say its okay if you don't answer he directly pulled me closer by his hand behind my neck and kissed me. His hard and domineering kiss came down on me. My heart started to beat like a drum, I was shocked to the core. But soon I regained myself and kissed him back, when he felt my response he groaned kissing me harder. He licked my lips with his hot tongue causing me to be surprised and open up to him. 

Then very swiftly his tongue slid inside my mouth taking full control of me. I felt fireworks explode inside of me, he kissed me hard as if he was making up for all this years.

After the kiss ended we both were breathing hard, I slowly opened my eyes to his smiling face. His blue eyes were sparkling with happiness, I smiled back at him.

He leaned his forward on mine, his hands were still cupping my face and said," Is this a dream, Daisy? Did I finally go nuts and start hallucinating? If this is a dream then I am willing to not wake up."

I smiled and pinched his cheek between my fingers," Do you still think this is a dream?"

He winced  and held my hand on his cheek," It sure is a dream. How could you say you love me if not for a dream? I should be dreaming."

" You are not dreaming. I love you... I love you so very much. I...love...you" I said word by word so that he could understand" Do you?"

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