● I'd Lose Myself ● | Kosta X Reader(Y/n) | {X}

E l e v e n

Chapter 11 : Library...
> Y/n's/Reader's POV <

"The teacher told me that the exam will be next two weeks.." My sister looked at me with one of her eyebrows raised, showing a confuse look. "There's nothing to worry about sis, it'll just be next two weeks and you'll have time to review." She rolled her eyes and continued reading her notes on the dining table.

"You're even reading your notes right now.." I facepalmed. I sat beside her and let out a heavy sigh. "I don't wanna fail..." I relaxed my back on the wooden chair and looked at the white ceiling above me, overthinking about everything that doesn't seem important. I heard my sister sighed beside me.

"Then..? Review your notes dummy!" I looked at her and she seemed quite annoyed with my over reaction.
"I don't know... It feels like I don't have motivation to study.." I rub my eyes gently and yawned while stretching my body. "You're tired basically.." My sister closed her notebook and hit my face softly with it. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Yesterday when you got home, you looked very tired sis." She faces her whole body to me and looked like she was examining my whole face features. "A lot happened.." I said.

"Yeah really a lot. I even saw your left wrist wrapped with a white cloth yesterday. Tell me specifically what happened?"

"Well.. it was a very long story.. So first we had a lot of activities and groupings..." I extend my arms and stretched them, feeling my bones break in the inside. "Second.." I continued. "The wrist part was nothing but an accident." I looked at my wrist and see that it wasn't that much of a worry anymore. Thanks to him treating it.

"How did mom and dad didn't see that yesterday...?" She responded. I shrug my shoulders. I placed both my arms on the table and put my head above it facing my sister beside me.

"I'm tired sis.."

"Yeah you are. You should go rest today since it's saturday. Don't worry about the exams too much, you'll be fine."

"But..."

"We can study together tomorrow." Jen patted my back and smiled warmingly. I forced to let out a smile but deep inside I am so worried about the exam day even though it's still far away. I just can't fail and I should not. I need to make my parents proud of me.

...

After that day...

"No sis it's suppose to be 4x-"

"I'm giving up on algebra.. I hate this."

"Sis wait-" Before she could even stop me, I smack the table and immediately stood up, shutting her nerves from even bothering me. She froze in fear while watching me go back to our room.

"Sis..."

...

I closed the door behind me, almost slamming it but I hold the doorknob in time stopping it from making a sound. I heavily sighed and went towards the bed and jumped on it, laying flat facing the ceiling. "What the hell am I gonna do now.."

I brush my hair to my forehead and massaged my head on the top of my eyebrows part stressly. I closed my eyes and rethink what I have done a while ago. "Shit.. I scared my sister." I stopped massaging, I clicked my tounge realizing that I did something wrong.

I covered my eyes with my arm where my wrist got swollen two days ago and decided to let my consciousness drift away. After all, I have nothing better to do anyway rather than that. I figured I lost my motivation on studying and everything started stressing me out suddenly. It feels like I wanna give up, just lay on my bed all day and do nothing. What the hell? I'm just a kid why am I like this?

I stayed in that same position for a few minutes until I heard my phone's notification on the cabinet beside me. I looked over the cabinet where my phone was for a while before I decided to grab the phone myself. I turn on the phone to see what the notification was about and all I see there was a message.. from Kosta?

I clicked the notification and read his message.

"Hey y/n.. The exam day is next two weeks, wanna study together tomorrow at the library?"

After reading that simple message my whole world suddenly lit up and filled with excitement. The feeling of laziness and tiredness dissapearead in thin air like a bubble easily popped. A message coming from my seatmate just coloring my black and white dull feeling. How amusing...

"Okay sure. Just tell me the time tomorrow." I replied at his text with a smiley emoji.

"Okay got it. Thanks though." He replied and send me a big thumbs up. I reacted a heart emoji to it and turned off my phone afterwards. That interaction got me speechless. I can't explain why but when I talk to him it just suddenly gives me butterflies in my stomach. It makes me feel giddy and excited or in short, happy.

What a bliss...

...

Not a second short, I heard someone knocked on the door. I groan and fixed myself into a comfy sitting position. "Come in."

My sister opened the door slowly with a forced smile display on her worried face. I sighed and lay myself on the bed again in the same position a while ago. "Hey sis..." She greeted me. I didn't respond and instead just closed my eyes and licked my dry lips. I felt my sister sat on the edge of the bed. I decided to open my eyes after a few minutes to see her playing with her own hands, patiently waiting for me to say something. I sighed.

"You didn't do anything Jen." She stopped her own little distraction and looked at me with a slight guilt. "You looked mad sis.." I then looked at the ceiling and smiled. "I was just stressed out. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to."

"So.. It wasn't my fault?" She shakingly said, her voice sounded like she was about to burst down in tears. I chuckled. "No."

She then suddenly hugged me while I was laying on the bed. I hugged her back and patted her head multiple times to comfort her.

"Don't worry I am not angry at you. Plus you really teached me a lot thank you for that..."

...