● I'd Lose Myself ● | Kosta X Reader(Y/n) | {X}

F o u r t e e n

Chapter 14 : Confession Plan Gone Wrong
> Kosta's POV 2 <

"What is it Kosti?" She faces me and slightly smiled and waited for me to say something, for my long detailed paragraph confession. But she still doesn't know my next move, that is absolutely what I wanted. I clenched my fists and calmly stood up, not blinking, not breathing. I looked at her in the eye, my heart beating faster, my sweat randomly spawning on my forehead and trickling down towards my cheeks. I was shaking nervously. I didn't know what to do next, my mind immediately erased every single thing of what I was gonna tell her, which is a terrible problem.

"I..." I paused. I realized that I wasn't ready for this. I was never ready to get hurt right now because I confessed my feelings personally, stupid of me. I don't want someone to break my heart into pieces and I don't want to make it hard for myself. I knew deep down that no one will never ever like someone like me, and I am determined that that is not a bluff.

"I... uh.. Y/n I-" I stopped. I thought I was the only one who's gonna ruin my own plan that I prepared for a day. I thought I was the only one who's gonna hesitate and abort my own plan, but it was that boy. Andrija.

"Hey Y/n, didn't expect you would be here.. with Kosta?" He approached y/n and greeted her. He looked at me then with a slight disgusted look. What?

And the plan was ruined.

I angrily furrowed my eyebrows and threatened him by glaring at him maliciously. That was the only thing I could do to show my true emotions that I was so annoyed by his face. But it wasn't enough. He widely smirked at me followed by a quirky wink. Disgusting.

"Oh hey Andrija, do you need something?" She innocently smiled at him while waving her hand in front of his face because he seemed distracted at my handsome nerdy face. That's a proof how I change my mindset fast as lightning. A while ago I was hating how I look now I said to myself that I have a handsome nerdy face. How dumb am I?

"Oh no not really. I just saw you here while I was reading some music books so I decided to say hi to you." He looks at y/n straight in the eye with a calm, normal face but I know he's getting flustered by how the distance between them is too close, almost like they were gonna hug and kiss. The thought of that makes my blood boil.

"O-ohh right of course Andrija. You must like music right because you mentioned reading music books..?" Y/n slowly took an inch step away from him, it seems like she was uncomfortable with the distance. The moron realized that and immediately back away from her position, chuckling quietly in the process.

"Yeah yeah of course! I love to play the piano. Do you wanna hear me play sometime?" He playfully caress his blond hair while smiling like a creep. A total creep. I only see him as nothing but a playboy monster. But actually he wasn't like that. He's the sweet, smart popular boy while I was just in the corner rotting in jealousy. And now he's gonna steal my girl? Not a fat chance.

"Yeah sure I would like to." She brushes her hair away from her face and gently tucks it on the top of her ear.
"Great! Maybe tomorrow?" He excitedly announced. I was just standing there listening to their conversation like I was a total ghost, a creepy eavesdropping handsome ghost. "Yeah I guess I am kinda free that time.." She nervously smiled, showing her teeth. She was constantly looking at my direction worriedly which I quickly understand why.

Does she think she is ignoring me or I was kinda left out? Maybe.

"Okay that's enough Andrija. We are gonna go to the class now because it seems like the time is ticking fast." I said proudly, interrupting their little conversation that numbs my heart vessels.

"Oh is that so? Then let me tag along.. We're in the same class after all right? Kosta?" He annoyingly smirked again but this time he looked like a retired psychotic idiot which scares my soul. And the way he said my name makes me feel chills in every single part of my body, it sounds like he was gonna put my name in a death note. But of course I didn't let that slide.

"No." I said without hesitating, ignoring my shivering body. I quickly grabbed y/n's hand and made our way outside of the library leaving Andrija alone, staring at us from the back.

Judging by how he acts towards y/n and me after he met her, I think he is obssessed with y/n and maybe he noticed that I liked her too which made him hold hatred and jealousy towards me. Now this is an interesting game that I can press start without overthinking. Except this is a horror game, the fact that my enemy is terrifyingly weird.

...

"Are you okay y/n?" I worriedly asked, checking up on her face and her body's movements. Her hands were shaking and her smile immediately dropped when I asked what she was feeling. "No.."

I leaned closer to her. Her breathing was so unstable and heavy and she wasn't blinking at all, it was like she was traumatized. "Don't worry, you're safe." I slowly closed my eyes and gently put my forehead to hers while I place both my hands on her cheeks.

"It's just that... I feel nervous around Andrija a lot I don't know what this is.." She said under her shaking breath, I heard it quite well and detailed. It reminded me of what my sister told me when I asked her something involving love.

"You act weird around them and shy."

Does y/n like Andrija or something..? The thought of that makes my heart shatter to pieces, but I tried to be strong and ignore it. It wasn't like any kind of thing. Why does my jealousy have the power to hurt myself so deeply that it could leave a wound that'll never heal?

I find myself being in that situation, not being able to control my emotions and escape the pain. And later I feel hopeless.

What's wrong with me?

"Kosta??" I felt her warm touch on one of my hand. It made me wake up to reality, it made me forget my problems easily and other useless things going around in my mind. It was like she is my therapy, my medicine and my safe place that I could count on and never doubt of.

"Y-yeah?" I slowly open my eyes to meet her beautiful eyes and her pupils gracing my whole being. I can't describe it other than the word, heaven.

"It's like you've been asleep for a minute there.. I think I should be the one to ask if everything's alright?" She gracefully smiled. I looked at her plump pinkish lips, it was kissable that I could dig in without hesitating. I return my eyes back to her angelic eyes and innocently stared at it. "I am fine in this position. Can it lasts longer?" I whispered softly. Slowly I moved closer to her face, our noses were finally touching each other and I was getting close to being able to feel her lips to mine. She didn't even move an inch, I could see her closing her eyelids slowly, I closed mine, preparing for something I've waited to experience before. Especially to someone I have liked longer for the first time in my entire life experience.

"Y/n."

The plan failed but atleast she'll get to know the truth with my actions.

Author / Writer : Hope you guys enjoying the story, thank you all for the votes, follows and comments I really appreciate it, I'll try to update as fast as I can if I am free!! Again thank you dear readers^^