● I'd Lose Myself ● | Kosta X Reader(Y/n) | {X}

T h i r t e e n

Chapter 13 : Confession Plan
> Kosta's POV <

I never expected myself to make that unexpected first move to y/n. It was embarassing at the same time exciting. I can feel butterflies in my stomach flying around in different directions, my heart beating faster, my cheeks burning hot. It all felt good when I feel like I am with the right person.

Hope this plan works.

A day before...

"Danica.. How do you know if you like someone?" I asked. I rested my head on my arm on the living room table, staring at my sister who was endlessly scrolling through her phone. Maybe she's watching some boring videos. "Why do you ask brother?" She slightly move her phone down, her eyes followed the phone's screen while it moves, showing her face.

"I just wanna know." She then looked at me straight in the eye without blinking. I furrowed my eyebrows, it took her a long time to respond.

"Well.. I think you act weird around them, you get shy when their around and continuously stare at them without knowing you are." I listened carefully to her words while rethinking about the behavior y/n does and I do in school. "You compliment them, think about them always and you basically care about them." She added.
"Is that all?" I asked making her widen her eyes. "Do you already like someone or you think someone likes you brother?"

Her sudden statement got me confused. "Why do you think so?"

Was I obvious with my intention?

"Because you wanted more information and that question is really unexpected coming from you bro."

"Oh I just got curious. I don't like anyone right now, please don't spread fake news to mom and dad." She turns on her phone again and continued what she was doing.

"Okay if you say so."

...

I liked y/n ever since she started talking to me, now we've been in school together for months. I've developed interest towards her and felt this deep, amazing feeling whenever I am around her. I thought it was time to tell her what I really felt.

But firstly, I have to plan things out before I execute my intention. I need her to come with me in a very safe, quite place without too many  company around. In that way, I can confess to her easily without any trouble. The only problem is her response after I tell her everything. There's a small chance that I won't get dumped, and a higher chance I will be.

I just have to prepare for the worst.

Present time...

"We're here.." I slowly let go of her hand when we finally arrived at our destination, the library. This is the place I thought about for my plan because it's usually quite inside and there weren't many people around. Kids nowadays like to read digitally now. I looked at y/n and she was just standing there, frozen like a statue. Her blush was so obvious that it made her a tomato like how I look when I blush. It was really adorable. I am currently fighting the urge to pinch one of her soft chubby cheeks. "Y/n??"

When I called her name, she looked at me in the eye, realizing something what she have done earlier. "Sorry.."

"What? Why? You don't have to apologize." I shook my head, my hand also shaking, signalling a response "no".

"I just... well nevermind then. Sorry for interrupting."
She scratched her head, looking around her sorroundings trying to find something to talk about after I didn't respond to her because I barely had anything to say at the moment. I looked down at my feet due to embarrasment, realizing I made it awkward or weird between us when I held her hand.

The truth is, I didn't actually thought I would do that. I knew myself, I wasn't comfortable with physical contact especially women, but how did I managed to hold her hand like we've known each other for years. That was really unusual.

What I felt that time when I touched her soft plump skin, her fingers, her palm, it was ticklish. I can't explain but it just felt good like I won the lottery. I could feel my heart jumping up and down to its gladdess. Very unusual.

And when I finally knew that everything I felt around her were suprisingly odd, I realized I liked her. There was no reason why I do. It was confusing, I can't find any kind of solid reason why she stole my heart that easily. It just that I really like her, not because she was beautiful, kind nor intelligent. I just do.

Y/n is a beautiful, polite, smart girl. I know her. She have those angelic, unique features of an american person. But I thought she had a mix of asian features, and she does. I asked her a few days ago and said her mom was half filipino and her dad was half serbian. That's kinda cool. That was why her face were unusually gorgeous.

...

"Soo... you said we're gonna study right??" She suddenly said which cause me to leave my thoughts away and focus on the present.

"Ohh yeah of course! Let's get inside first. I'll pick a place for us to sit down." I slowly opened the library door and poke my head inside. There weren't too many people inside. I went inside and y/n followed me from behind quietly. "I'm not good at math.. Can you help me?" Y/n asked me. I nodded while walking towards an empty table near a window.

"Of course don't worry." I pulled an empty wooden chair and signalled her to sit down. I sat at the same time she also did. "So.. what are we gonna do?" She placed both her arms on the table comfortably and hovered near the window to get a glance of nature outside.

"Well uhh study." She moves her (e/c) glowing orbs to my existence, it was reflecting the bright yellow color of the sun, she kept her body facing the window beside her and the only thing she put in motion was her eyes.

"So you mean study in books? I didn't bring my notes and you also didn't." I widened my eyes and looked around us. All I could see was an empty chair beside me and the empty table in front of us. We both really didn't bring anything at all.

The plan wasn't just about for confessing, I also wanted to study with her and get to know her better. I wanna know her interests, dislikes and favorites. I just want to write it in one of my notebooks and remember basically every little things about her. Which is why I brought her here, in the library. The best place to date- I mean study.

...

"Let me get my notes real quick-" She said. She slowly stood up and was about to walk away when I stopped her.

"Wait y/n!" I said in a low pitch sound to not disturb whoever is inside the library. She stopped. "Yes?"

I paused for a second. What was I gonna say? Oh right, right. "I... uhh.." I stuttered. I was definetely scared to get rejected and the silence echoing in the atmosphere in the library made me more nervous than getting laughed at in front of the class.

She just stared at me, waiting for my response patiently. I let out a heavy breath, finally having the ego to fearlessly tell everything even my own darkest secrets. The other plan I've been planning for months.

"I need to tell you something important.."