A Point of View

Chapter XIX : Delusional

-Home-

I was cleaning the house to spare time and also to make myself useful.

After cleaning everything, I sat at our sofa and rest for a bit.

Then I suddenly remembered my dream last night, and I felt a sudden warm feeling in my cheeks. I can tell it's red.

I tried biting off my lips to prevent myself smiling so damn wide, I mean I don't want to look like a foolish person.

The dream was about me and my, let's just say, crush.

I don't know what causes me to dream about her, almost like every night when I close my eyes. It's always gonna be her, and way worse, we were like together and all lovey to each other. I always know that I like her but I just don't like it this way to the point that she pops out in my dreams out of nowhere making it so hard to open my eyes.

My dream last night was about me and her, I was courting her and she gave me her sweetest yes. A literal dream, and we even adopted a puppy and also in the dream, both of us are successful. I was a doctor and she was a model.

And in my dreams, it felt so real even when there's a part where we kiss. It felt so real in my lips and the heart beating makes it more realistic but when I woke up, I was kinda disappointed and upset. It made me think that is real and I hate it.

I brushed every thought in my mind and went to my room, I decided to clean off my room since it's starting to get dirty and messy.

As I was starting to clean, checking every boxes and anything. I saw a lot of letters, handmade letters of mine.

I picked one and read it.

IT WAS A FREAKING LOVE LETTER I MADE FOR MALLY.

I blushed not because of the good feeling but the feeling of embarrassment. I don't really love making letters specially when it's about this 'love' feeling. I sometimes find it cringe but look at me now, there's..

One, two, three, four, five, six...

Ten love letters when different designs. 

I just wanna die...

Should I give this to her, read it with her, or just burn this letters?

I'm having second thoughts so I decided to keep it for awhile.

But the content of my love letters is not that cringe, I read it and I find it cute, it's not because I made it but maybe I made it while thinking all things about her.

I don't really know her that much, just the minor informations about her.

Her favorite sweets, her habits, the perfume she wears, how she thinks about herself and some of the minor informations.

I really don't know what's gotten into me to observe her deeply and admired her. 

I just smiled bitterly at the letters because I know that I can't give it to her.