Angel

Chapter 37

Mattie

"You look like you're feeling better," I told Tori as she sat down next to me on the garden bench. She was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen and seemed to have so much confidence despite her surroundings.

"Well, avoiding Carlos helps," she snorted. "You look better too. Have you seen him?"

I nodded, "We've been having breakfast and dinner together most days. He's also made me sleep in the same room, but most nights I just cry."

"Has he, um..." She made a motion with her hands and I blushed crimson.

"Not since that first night. He said he'd wait," I muttered. I plucked at the petals of the flower in my hands and sighed, "I don't understand what he's expecting from me. How am I supposed to love the man that took me away from everything and everyone I've ever cared for...I mean, I gave up my daughter for fucks sake."

"Wait, what?" Tori's head snapped up, her grey eyes smoldering with anger. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Should I bring her here? Let her be raised in this? To be used as a pawn by him and god knows who else?" I snapped and she leaned back at my anger.

"I...I'm sorry, I never thought..." I saw her shoulders shake a bit and placed my hand on her shoulder. "He killed my family...all of them. You made the right choice. Cardoza's a fucking monster, they all are."

Her words didn't make me feel better overall, but at least they made me realize I'd made the right choice about Bebe. "I'm sorry, Tori. I can't imagine what you went through."

She straightened up and smiled, "Just be glad you won't ever know. He won't hurt you, not like they've hurt me, Mattie. You're his Princess and you wear his mark," she lightly touched the brand mark. "I know it's barbaric, but that symbol makes you untouchable. He'll explain eventually." She stood and gave me a kiss on the top of my head, then headed back into the compound.

I sat looking across the rows of flowers, feeling so alone. I swiped at the tears that refused to stop falling. "Princesa," his voice said behind me softly, making me jump. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." I looked up at his face. It was deceptive. He looked so kind, so genuine, but I knew the monster that lurked beneath the surface. I let out a breath and moved over to give him space to sit, but instead, he came to kneel before me. He slowly reached up and wiped a tear. "How can I help, mi amore?" he asked softly.

I just sniffled and shook my head, not knowing what to say. I obviously couldn't tell him to let me go, so there really wasn't anything. All I could do was try to come to terms with what my life was now. He continued to patiently look at me as my tears fell, then he gently pulled me against him and held me while I cried. He stroked my hair and whispered, "I know this is hard, little mouse. It will get easier."

I was so desperate for comfort that I nodded against his chest and wrapped my arms around him, letting him comfort me even though he was the cause of my pain. After a few moments, he pulled back and stood, holding his hand out to me. "Come, let me show you something." I took his hand as he led me down one of the paths that curved and twisted. He walked slowly, letting me take in the full beauty of the gardens. "They were my mother's pride and joy," he said. "She too was forced into this life, Mattie, but she found happiness and peace. I wish you could have met her."

"What happened to her," I asked in a quiet voice.

He frowned and his entire body seemed to sag when he answered, "Cervical cancer. By the time the doctors found it, it had spread throughout her body. She chose to spend her last days here with me and my brother. I brought her out here often. It's where I still feel close to her. In a way, it's why I want to show you this." He stopped and pulled me in front of him. I gasped at the sea of violets before me surrounding a small pergola with a bench swing.

I tentatively stepped forward, running my fingers over the blooms, and let my tears flow freely as I knelt on the ground. I felt him kneel behind me, his arms around my waist as he pressed kisses to my shoulders. "I know why you've let her go, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Maybe this place can help you feel closer to her, mi amore."

When my sobs had lessened, I leaned against him, "Thank you." He didn't say a word, instead tilting my face to his and gently placing a kiss on my lips. I gasped in surprise but didn't pull away. He had just a hint of a smile as he helped us up and began walking back, my hand still in his.

When we reached the dining room he spoke to the maid, "Send our dinner to our room, please. Princesa is tired." I gave him a thankful look and followed him up the stairs. He nodded his head toward the bathroom and I gathered my pajamas and took a very hot shower.

When I came out, Emilio was sitting at the small table in our room, with dinner already laid out. I smiled when I noticed the Shrimp Étouffée. "I hope this doesn't kill me, little mouse," he winked as he pulled out the chair for me. He sat down across from me and eyed the meal suspiciously.

I giggled, "Unless you're allergic to seafood, you should be fine. It can't be any spicier than a Mexican dish."

He chuckled, "Yeah, but it's a Creole dish made by a Mexican cook. We may need fire extinguishers." I laughed again, then we both took a bite and I groaned. Damn, it was good. He shifted in his chair, his eyes dark as I blushed and looked down briefly. He chuckled and held out his fork with a large shrimp on it. I took the bite and grinned. "You're right, it is good. I hoped some comfort food might help."

"So what is your comfort food?" I asked as we continued our meal.

He smiled, "It isn't fancy, but empanadas. It makes me think of when my brother and I were young and would grab them before running out of the house." His eyes lit up as he spoke of his brother.

"Where is he?" I asked, "Your brother?"

He paused for a moment, "He chose a different path, little mouse."

I reached out and placed my hand on his, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

He clasped my hand, "No, Mattie, I like that you did. You have such a kind heart, mi amore. It's one of the things I love about you." He knew his comment had made me uncomfortable and didn't pursue it, instead, he gathered our dishes and set them out in the hall.

We brushed our teeth and as I climbed into the bed, he gently pulled me against his chest. And for the first time since I'd arrived, I fell asleep without crying. 

Author's Notes:  Please follow, vote, and comment...too many damn crickets...I'm questioning if I should continue.