Angel

Chapter 53

Mattie

I sat on the soft couch next to Emilio. He was being so patient, but I was so angry at myself, so disgusted that I couldn't even handle him touching me. I was a failure. I had tried to kill myself, so engulfed in my own grief about Violet and the guys that I didn't stop to think about the possibility that I was pregnant. I'd pushed the thought out of my head the night of the Gala. I was too possessed by my own demons, my own failure as a mother. How dare I bring a child into the world when I had abandoned my first one?

I looked up when I heard Tori's soft voice. She gave me a supportive smile, then left as she ushered in two men. I didn't even look at them, just lowered my eyes again, pulling at imaginary strings on my skirt.

"Mattie, love, this is Dr. Green and his husband, Owen. They're here to help," Emilio said softly. I had to be hallucinating. There's no way he said those names, no way.

I lifted my eyes to meet Sean's soft green ones. He looked concerned, and I was surprised to not see disgust. He looked at my bandages, "Hello, Mrs. Cardoza. I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances. I'm Dr. Sean Green and this is my husband, Owen."

I didn't answer. I just stared at him in disbelief, then my gaze shifted to Owen. He looked heartbroken. "Hello, Mrs. Cardoza. If you prefer, I can leave for this discussion."

I shook my head, "N...no, you can stay."

"Mrs. Cardoza," Sean started.

"Mattie. Please just call me Mattie," I corrected him. Hearing my married name on their lips made me want to vomit. I cared for Emilio, even loved him in my own way, but my guilt was more than I could handle right now.

"Okay, Mattie," he continued, "I would like your permission to speak with you individually about what led you to this event. I think it best to keep the conversation private just doctor to patient."

"Dr. Green, I'm not sure how I feel about that," Emilio said and I cringed slightly. He noticed my movement and sighed, "That...that will be fine. When would you like to start?"

"Now is good. However, first I'd like to speak with you, sir. Perhaps Owen and Mattie can step out for a few moments?" Sean suggested. Owen stood and offered me his hand. I reluctantly took it and followed him to the door. "I'll open the door in a few moments," Sean said as we left.

Sean

"Please, Mr. Cardoza, tell me from your perspective what you feel led your wife to try and take her own life," I asked Mr. Cardoza.

He sighed, "Call me Emilio. If you are involved with the Hernandez family then you are already quite aware of my lifestyle, Dr. Green. Mattie didn't want this and honestly, I wasn't kind in the beginning." His hands shook as he spoke and I noticed tears forming in his eyes. "What I am saying now, goes no further than this room. It is private, there are no recording devices allowed in our private chambers and you may only speak of these facts in regards to her treatment. I understand if you share with your husband for the bonds of marriage are also sacred, but he must keep them private."

I leaned forward, "I assure you that I mean you and your wife no harm, Emilio. I just need to have honesty and trust to help her. If details are omitted then I might advise the wrong course of treatment and that could be even more dangerous."

He sighed, "I know, and that's why I need to confess my role in her suffering. Please understand, I love her - more than my own life, I love her, but in the beginning, I did not treat her right. I treated her like a possession, a prize to be won. I kidnapped her, then essentially raped her in front of my men. I...I had them place the Cardoza brand on her shoulder." His chest shuddered as he waited for my shock and response. Of course, I already knew all of these details, but he didn't know that.