Because of You

Chapter 21!

Song Recommendation: Miserable at Best- Mayday Parade (Love this song so much omg)

 Song Featured:Boom Clap- Charli XCX (also featured in TFIOS (yayayay))    

 "Are you sure you want to do this?" Asked Zoe, for the fourth time since I got in her silver Corola.

 Right after I ended the phone call, I practically ripped all of my clothes from my closet. I looked through every shirt, to every skirt, to every dress and I still couldn't find anything. So, I did an all time low (tee hee) and I went through Cass' closet. I know, I know I shouldn't look through other peoples' things blah blah, but whatever. It was an emergency.     

 I nodded for the fourth time, and looked down at my dress. My dress (or shall I say Cass' dress) had an asymmetrical sleeve with a side cutout, featuring pockets, peep hole detail and waist gathering. Not only that but it's made of spandex/polyester so it's tight as well. Not trying to be slutty (or Lily) but... I mean c'mon I should at least show him what he's missing out on, if we are broken up.     

 The thought of Gram and I being broken up literally pains me. If I thought that me finding out he was cheating on me was bad, I wouldn't want to know or at least even think about what that might feel like.    

 The whole car ride with Zoe was silent, accept when she was asking if I was sure of I want her to turn around. Which, got pretty annoying after a while, but I knew she was only looking out for me.    

 And to be honest, I don't even know if I'm ready.    

 I looked in the rearview mirror and fixed my fly away strands of my hair out of my face. I didn't curl my hair this time, I barely even touched it. I left it down and decided to go natural, and that's what I get: fly aways. As for my makeup, I added a little more powder to my face, as well as blush to make my cheeks a little rosier. Instead of adding lip balm like I usually do, I added red lipstick to my lips. Also, a little more mascara than I usually do as well, it's a party.    

 I slipped on simple blacks pumps, that I also stole (borrowed) from Cass' closet. But, she'll never find out so....    

  I knew we were near Gram's house when I heard the music from halfway down block. I started to stir and my seat and Zoe looked over at me. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips formed into a slight frown.   

  "Rosie, do you want me to take you-"     

 "No," Her face was filled with worry (regret?) as she sighed and continued to look at the road. "I need to talk to him." I looked out the window, and watched as we drove by familiar houses.

  It made me sad as I thought that this might be the last time I got to. I blocked that thought from my head and turned to the rearview mirror again to check if I looked as decent as I wanted to look.     The music came into full blast and I spotted Gram's house.     

 "Whether I like it or not," I finished.

——-

     The world is a dark and a scary place as it is. But when you have a certain feeling of anxiety mixed with hope, it seems like one dark hole. And whatever mistake you make, it will swallow you whole. I felt like I was on the verge of being swallowed by a dark hole, or maybe I felt like I was in it. Or maybe I was it. Maybe I swallow my mistakes, and they build up inside me, make me grow in fear and regret.    

 I don't want to be a black hole anymore. I don't want to make any more mistakes. I didn't want Gram to be one of those mistakes. But as my heel made contact the floor as I got out of the car, I knew that I was already in the black hole. And I wanted to get out of it, whether Gram was in there as well or not.    

 I didn't want to feel myself grow mistake by mistake anymore. I needed a latter to help me climb up from my own hell.    

 And this party, is my latter.     

 Only, it's falling apart minute by minute, ever step I take towards that house.     

 And one slight move in the wrong direction, and I'll be stuck in there forever.~    

 The house is right outside of town, it's a three story Victorian home with a pool in the back. I recognized his mother's garden on the side of the house, where no one was allowed. I've known Gram for four years and all he lets me do is peak inside the gate. Apparently his mother is very strict about her plants.    

 While walking to the front door I spot a few teenagers smoking or drinking alchohol. There are red plastic cups everywhere, and the air already smells of beer. I catch a few glances in my direction, and force myself to look up ahead.     

 Oh yeah, I broke Lily's nose... almost forgot.    

  "Yo!" I hear in my direction, and to my mistake I turn my head to the direction of the voice. A very tall boy with short hair and deep chocolate eyes is eying me from the edge of the lawn. While having an arm swung around a girl who is smoking as well as he. She starts laughing, as her gaze is kept on the smoke rising in the air, as she breathes out her cigarette.    

 "Heeeeeey, aren't you the bitch who punched that girl?" He slurred, giggling slightly towards the end of his question. The girl below his arm brought her finger to his mouth to shush him, while laughing as well. She whispered something in his ear and walked him towards there group of friends leaving me speechless.     

 "C'mon, Rosie, let's get inside." Zoe gently swung her arm through mine, pushing me up the stairs, while my mouth still agape. I turned my head and her direction and I could very much notice her urge to say something. But, instead she kept quiet, as she placed her hand on the door knob, twisted it slightly, and swung it open.    

 The music is instantly louder the moment the door opens slightly. I recognize the song from Cass' radio in her room. I'm pretty sure it.... Boom Clap? I'm not sure, I've only heard it a few times. (Yes it is Boom Clap by Charli XCX, Rosalie just mainly listens to CD's, not the radio) I heard some voices singing along to the music, as well as some girls in the corner squealing over the song. Why? It's just a song, chill out. (haha little does she know...)  

   I was thankful when we stepped inside the house and the lights were in fact off, apart from the flashing lights on the ceiling. I haven't been to one of Gram's party's in ages, and now I'm here and I'm going to figure out something that could either fix the crumbling latter, or knock it down.   

  The house is filled with bodies, which is obvious because it's a party (Gram's party) and his parties are always the most popular. Before Zoe and I could roam freely around the house we were greeted by two bodies grinding on each other, and a small group of people surrounding them edging them on.    

 "Ah, nasty," Zoe scoffed and slipping her arm away from mine, and scurrying away.   

 Thanks Zoe, you're such a great friend.     

 I wiggled through many bodies to make my way through, not to mention swatted some hands as they tried to touch my ass. And looked through every room downstairs to find Gram, but he was nowhere to be found. The only other option was to go up the stairs, which immediantly I found myself doing.    

  The music was a little lower now, because Gram's whole downstairs was probably the size of my whole house but not like that means anything.    

 Whoa, this song is catchy.    

 Boom Clap, the sound of my heart the beat goes on and on and on and on and Boom Clap...     I walked towards the end of the hall, having the wood below me squeak by every move. A small light was piercing through the space underneath a door to a room I knew very well. I walked towards it, and prayed to God I wouldn't open it and find teenagers having a threesome or something.     

 Before I opened the door I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and hoping this goes well. I turned the knob and peaked my head into the room. There, a found a boy, sitting on his bed, staring outside the window.    

 That boy, in fact, was Gram.

 next chapter teaser: Rosalie gets her answers