Royal love

Chapter 44

Hayden's knocking at the door, quietly pleading with me to open it. But I can't. I can't move. I'm rocking back and forth in a tiny human ball and that's the only movement I can do. The bathroom in here is as gorgeous as the bathroom at the palace.

Do my parents know? Do they know Alex didn't kill himself? That he was murdered? Do they know?

It's times like these I wish I was allowed to keep my phone at the boarding school. Or the ear piece when coming in here. Maybe then I would have someone to talk to.

And then I realize. I'm going to have to tell everyone about this. Relive the horror of realizing my life from the moment my brother died to now, was all a lie.

What do I do next?

The door pushes open, just a little, just enough to push me out of the way and make room for Hayden to walk in.

"I'm fine," I lie trying to get up but stumbling. "I'm fine, let's go. We can't miss anything else."

"We can miss whatever the f*ck we want. We have everything we need. Your obviously not okay. Talk to me." He sits beside me and puts my hand in his. This isn't the Hayden I know. The Hayden I know is a jerk. He says things to purposefully annoy me. He talks bad about me to the other guys. He gets me in trouble. He isn't nice, he doesn't care how I feel.

"Why do you care?" I ask, tears streaming down my face. My nose is running but I can't wipe it.

Hayden doesn't answer for a minute. His lips form a line as he thinks of what to say. He shakes his head before he talks. "You just found out your life for the past year is a lie. I would want someone to talk to about that," he says.

I break down crying, even harder than I already am. Thinking about it again hurts too much. My brother, murdered. Why didn't I even think about it? He would never hang himself, kill himself. He's not that kind of person.

"What are you thinking?" He asks, squeezing my hand.

"He— he never would have k-killed himself." The words are a struggle to get out, suffocated by a sob. "I can't believe I didn't think about it. How did I not know?" I cry, I lean my face into Hayden's shoulder, I can feel my tears and snot dripping into his suit. He doesn't move when he feels it. He sits there, squeezing my hand as if I'm not contaminating his clothing with my sadness.

"It wasn't meant for you to realize." His voice is soft, he says it as if he's realizing it for himself. "They know what they're doing."

"Hayden," I say. I don't know why. I just do. I say it even though I have nothing to say after it, maybe it's because I want to hear him talk, to drown out what I'm thinking.

"I'm here," he says.

I sob even harder into his shoulder. "Hayden," I sob. "I don't know what to do, I feel—" my heart breaking. I feel my heart shattering in my chest. Nobody has ever been there for me, nobody has said it out loud at least.

"Shhh," Hayden shushes. It's a soft, calming sound. "You don't need to do anything right now. Relax. Breath." And I do.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

"Do you think you're ready to get out of here?" He asks.

I nod, even though I don't think I can.

He helps me up, leads me to the sink. He lifts me onto the counter and turns on the sink. The water runs onto the paper towel he puts under it. He brings the damp towel to my face and starts wiping the tears and smudged mascara away.

For some reason I wish this would never end. His hands are so gentle on my skin. Whenever I would cry as a kid I would be forced to stop immediately before the press saw.

When Hayden finishes he helps me off the counter and fixes my dress.

"Okay, we have to go." He grabs my hand and opens the door. We walk out together. The room is still full of wolves, ready to kill any sheep.

Ready to kill me if I mess up, slip up.

Hayden and I walk, hand in hand, as fast as we possibly can without causing suspicion, to the door.

But before we reach it, I hear voices. My brothers name once again.

Why was he such a common conversation around here!?

My blood boils. I can feel every inch of my body become hot. My hands balling into fists, releasing Hayden's grip.

"Adeline—" he whispers so only I'll hear, trying to stop me when he realizes what I'm about to do.

But it's too late. I'm walking over to the group, listening in.

"I'm glad someone killed that f*g. The last thing this country needs is a gay ruler. What kind of a roll model is that for the citizens? Especially the children," it's a woman's voice. She looks like she's middle aged, her hair is died blond and her eyes are brown. Her face is wrinkly and gorgeous, but all I see is a monster.

"What? He was gay?" A voice asks. My knuckles are white from clenching my fists so tight there's blood running down my palms from pushing my nails into them so hard.

"Yeah. He was dating some guy names Sebastian or something, it was leaked when he was like nineteen or something. Ruined the royal family for a few months," the woman says looking at her nails and yawning.

"They said the leak was fake! Nothing but made up fiction," another voice yells from the back of this forming crowd, the woman in the center of it all.

"Nope, I saw him with my own two eyes. I was on a mission and I saw the crown prince kissing a boy. You gonna call me a liar?" She asks the crowd.

Silence.

And then, me.

I break through the crowd, knuckles white and palms bleeding. Hayden isn't far behind me.

"How dare you," I say as I make eye contact with her. "How dare you." My brother wasn't gay. He would have told me. He wouldn't have been so reckless with it. "You just want your fifteen minutes of fame!" I yell.

"Excuse you," the woman says with a hand on her chest. "What business do you have..."

But her voice fades away as I stare at her. I don't care what she's saying. Her mouth is moving but I'm not hearing anything. I shake my head, I feel my eye twitch. Was that a new thing or have I had it forever?

I don't have time to think before I lunge myself at the woman. Mid sentence, I launch myself into her, throwing both of us to the ground. A circle forms around us but I don't care how much attention I'm getting from this.

I feel like my whole life has lead up to this. To beating this woman senseless. Why else would I have learned any kind of selfie defense?

I throw punch after punch to this woman's face. Occasionally one will land in her gut but her face is my target. I want to get rid of the monster I'm seeing, I want to smash her face in until she doesn't look like anything but mush. When I feel her go limp under me, I don't stop. I keep punching.

All the emotions I've felt for my entire life, all the emotions I've had to bottle up and throw deep down into my soul, they all come out. The bottle has shattered and it's all being unleashed on this woman.

When I feel myself being pulled off of her I land a few kicks to her gut before I stop, Hayden. I see him through my tear streaked eyes. He's pulling me off of her with a smirk on his face.

A smirk.

Word count: 1366
7-19-23
8:13
More chapters soon probably cuz I'm bored.
(Not reviewed, sorry for long chapter)
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