Royal love

Chapter 79

By midnight, Grayson is so drunk Hayden and I have to drag him back to his house. One on each side acting as a crutch to help Grayson stay upright.

He grumbles in between us as we practically carry him. He's spouting nonsense, he probably won't remember this in the morning.

"Would you shut up?" I ask, my voice straining from his weight, annoyed. Hayden chuckles but that's it. He doesn't talk the whole walk. He doesn't so much as grunt, it makes me think I'm the only one doing anything.

When we get back, we throw Grayson into his bed and he falls asleep quickly with a few grumbles.

"Let's," I say slowly as we leave Graysons bedroom and walk into the kitchen, a room connected to the living room. "Go outside to talk," I finish.

"Okay," Hayden coughs.

"I just don't want to wake them up, you know."

"Yep."

Where did this awkwardness come from? How long has it been here? Am I just now realizing? He hates me.

We make it outside. It's dark, the cold air hits my skin and sends a shiver down my spine. Hayden and I are in Graysons clothes, a t-shirt and pants each. No jackets, no warm clothes.

We stand in the silence for what feels like hours before Hayden exhales, I feel the weight of the world pile onto his shoulders with just that one breath. He's anxious.

"You wanted to talk," he says.

I look down at my feet, embarrassed to not know why I wanted to talk to him. I just felt the urge to tell him I wanted to talk.

"Yeah," I say. "Nothing serious I just thought you weren't tired, I'm not, and wanted to talk or something," I shrug.

"Oh," Hayden sighs. I can't tell if he's disappointed or relieved.

"Anything you want to talk about?" I ask. "A lot has happened."

"It's nothing."

"That's not true."

"It's not a big deal, Adeline," I can see his hot breath mixing with the cold air outside.

"It is to me," I argue. "It matters to me, I know what it feels like to try to not care, I know what it feels like to have nobody who cares about you or your feelings. Talk to me."

Hayden stays strong. "I don't want to talk about this, Adeline. Stop."

I freeze up. His tone has never changed like this with me before. With others, yeah, okay, but with me? He's never raised his voice at me like that.

"I'm sorry," he says. "It's still raw, if I talk about it I'd be acknowledging that it's real, I just... I don't want to do that yet," he grabs my shoulders and makes us make eye contact.

"I don't understand," I say, staring into his moonlit eyes.

"I know," he says. "It's weird, knowing all the things my father did to me, but he is—was—still my father. He wasn't always horrible and.. well, you know."

I nod. "Okay," I say. "I'm sorry, Hayden."

"It's not your fault." He breaks away from me and exhales, warm air escapes his mouth making it look like he's smocking as his back is turned to me.

"It kind of is though." If I hadn't have gotten kidnapped by them none of this would have happened. If I didn't get emotionally attached to that stupid cabin— or Sebastian, the memory of my brother— if I hadn't stayed there too long, none of this would have happened. It's all my fault.

The realization dawns on me, shattering my glass heart with a sledgehammer. The weight of the world is now a shared feeling on both me and Hayden's shoulders. It doesn't feel good.

Hayden whips around, his face hardens before my eyes. "Don't say that," he orders. "It's not your fault at all. It's my fathers for thinking you were easy to kill."

I laugh and roll my eyes. "In his defense I might just be."

He shakes his head, and laughs. It's music to my ears, strong, controlled, beautiful. He takes a few, gentle, steps toward me, he looks up from the ground as if to ask me permission to get closer, when I don't say anything against it, he takes more steps. "I couldn't do it," he whispers softly into my ear when he gets close enough. I feel a shiver run down my spine, but this one's not from the cold.

I don't know how to respond. I don't. There's a silence between us. I feel his breath on my skin and it's electric. The space between us is so charged with energy it could shock anyone that tries to intrude on this moment.

I have an urge to interrupt the moment, breaking the "awkwardness" with an unfunny joke, but decide against it.

Hayden stares into my eyes. I try to hold eye contact but can't stop my eyes from trailing down his face to his lips. They're so perfectly shaped, perfectly colored, perfectly sized. It's unfair.

He notices and smirks.

He notices.

And smirks.

The tension between us grows so strong. I could snap it with my pinky, I just can't get myself to do it yet. I can't make myself ruin this moment. Maybe I want this.

Hayden lowers his head to be somewhat level with mine.

No, not maybe.

He pulls his head closer to mine.

I want this.

His head tilts. Mine does too.

"Adeline?" I hear Hayden saying, but the Hayden in front of me isn't the one saying it. His lips are closed. I feel like I'm floating as I hear my name again. What's going on?

"Adeline?" And I'm snapped back into reality. My arms are wrapped around my waist in an attempt to stay warm.

"Hm?" I look at him, bringing my head away from the spot on the ground I was daydreaming looking at. "What?" I ask.

"You just spaced out, are you okay?" He asks.

I find it aggravating how he can ask me that but I can't ask him. He cares about me but won't let me reciprocate the mutual feeling.

"Yeah," I lie. He doesn't need my feelings to deal with along with his. I smile. "Just tired."

Word count: 1041
11:12 pm
11-28-23
(Not revised)
HAHA SUCKERS!! You thought you were gonna get a kissing scene? WRONG! 😘