Royal love

Chapter 65

My nanny had just walked out of my dads office, she had to explain to him how I broke a vase and refused to let the maids clean it.

She left out the part that I cried over it and tried to put it together so nobody would get in trouble.

But it's not her fault how she had to explain it, my father didn't care for the important details, she had learned that the hard way.

She gave me a weak, sympathetic smile. Tears welled at my young eyes. She kneeled down in front of me and gave me a hug.

If anyone in this castle knew how badly I was treated, it was the staff.

_____

"She's just a child," my mother says. My parents are having another one of their secret discussions with everyone in the family there but me.

Secret discussions about me.

"She's not needed anymore." My father.

"I need her," my brother says instantly, his voice deep. Anger-coated.

"You do not need her. She isn't important. You have responsibilities. She is a distraction. When she's around you never complete tasks." A pause.

"I'll do better. I'll finish all my work and then some. Please, don't do this."  What do they want to do?

"Thomas, I agree. She's our child-" my mother tries but my father interrupts.

"She is no child of mine."

"How could you say that!?" My brother shouts. "Just because she's not the heir you don't care about her? Not even a little? Do you know what she does to get your approval? She's learned two languages fluently. She's only ten."

"What she does for my approval is not my problem. I want her gone, we clearly don't need her and all she does is destroy things and cause problems."

"I'll deal with her," my brother says.

"Alexander. I am done talking about this."

"You are NOT!" My brother says losing his temper. My brother never loses his temper. "We are not getting rid of her. What if we do need her? What if I die? What if I can't become king? We need her."

I watch through the crack of the door as my father waves his hand dismissing the rest of the family.

I hide.

"Adeline?" I hear a voice call from afar.

Alex.

"Adeline?" His voice gets louder.

I don't move from the cabinet I'm hiding in. Small spaces comforted me when I was younger. They gave me the love and warmth my parents never could.

In this cabinet, I can't cause problems.

In this cabinet, I can't destroy things.

"Adeline!" A voice scares me awake.

Hayden is sitting at the edge of my bed, staring at me with deep blue eyes lit up by a tiny candle.

"What the f*ck, Hayden?" I rub my eyes. I'm already sitting up from being scared awake.

"Sorry, the floor got uncomfortable."

"Shouldn't have broken the couch."

"Adeline," he stares at me with some kind of intense sadness. "Please don't make me sleep on the floor."

I almost break, almost scoot over to make room for him, almost let him in my bed.

"Go ask Sebastian."

"I have." His whole face is the picture of a plea. "Adeline, I promise, I'll leave you alone."

And I break. I scoot over and roll to my side, back facing him. The last time we were in the same bed, it was the night I found him burning himself.

I can't remember that, not now.

Night is the time I try to avoid. The second everyone decides to go to sleep, I panic a little inside. Nighttime is the time I lay in bed and think, and thinking never leads to anything good on my part.

I don't want Hayden here now that he's woken me up because I know I won't be able to sleep, which means I'll probably be crying soon.

Nighttime is the time I think of Sonya.

The time I think of how she would react with everything that's happened in my life. The time I think of how she laughed, smiled, designed. The time I think of how she got loud when she was passionate, the time I think of how she could go on and on for hours about her dresses and sketches.

The time I think about what we never got to do. Everyone else gets to go to keep their best friend forever but I have to lose mine? Everyone else can experience all kinds of fun with their best friend but mine got taken from me.

Too young.

Too soon.

We didn't hardly do any of the things best friends do. I still have an unchecked bucket list.

A bucket list that will stay unchecked for the rest of my life.

I thought moving to the school might be a fresh start. An escape from the chaos. An escape from my parents, my duties.

But no. Everywhere I go, chaos follows like a shadow. Chaos is everywhere, chaos is where you are, is what my father would say to me.

Chaos is where you are.

I feel the tears coming, not just because of the things I've thought about but also for the things I haven't. My brother, who he left behind, the phantom pain I feel from the weeks I had been tortured, my friends who haven't seen me in who knows how long, my family's falling apart because of me.

I accidentally sniffle told loudly. I turn to see if Hayden is still awake to listen to me cry, he's not.

I let it out.

All of it.

All the weeks of pain.

All of the months of torture.

All the years of neglect.

I grab a pillow and hug it, bugging into it to muffle my cries. I don't want to wake anyone up.

I don't know how long has passed since I fist started crying but my tears have run dry. I'm not ready for the relief I feel from finally letting it all out, my eyes feel free. My heart unchained.

Soon my eyes glue shut with the tears.

Soon, my whole body slips back to sleep.

Word count: 1027
10-9-23
9:50 pm
(Not revised)
I'm trying to work on my sad writing, HOW DID I DO??
have a good night/day!! 🫶🏻