ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ꜱᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ

PART TWO - CHAPTER FOUR; JOHN STONES

PART TWO - CHAPTER FOUR;

JOHN STONES

11th June – 13th June 2021

A sneak peak of the build up to the first England match at Wembley on the 13th June where they faced Croatia and won 1:0. A goal from Sterling in the 57th minute after an assist from Kalvin wins them the game at the sunny London ground.

Declan Rice, Mason Mount & John Stones all start, however Ben Chilwell is not included in the team.

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The atmosphere at Wembley was so hard to describe to anyone who hadn't ever been on the pitch. If you hadn't laced up your boots and stood waiting in the tunnel with the roar of the crowd echoing outside you really couldn't fully experience the thrill.

For John it was a feeling that he could never ever get tired of or even begin to appreciate to its full potential in the moment. He would find himself still dazed about it days later realising that all his childhood dreams were coming true every single time he stepped foot on the grass.

He had been selected for the England Squad many times in his career, but it still felt like the first time every time he put on that shirt with his name written on the back.

He had been loving this camp a lot, probably more than some of the others he had been on and he wasn't quite sure why.

He wasn't sure if it was based on how he was feeling about himself, being older now and more assured in his ability yet still having the doubts playing in his mind at times.

He wasn't sure if it was because Alex could go with him to these events, so he didn't have to be apart from her and feel lost like he always did whenever she wasn't close.

Or if it was based on the lads at the camp, which he thought would possibly be more realistic.

He loved being surrounded by his friends, those players that he had seemed to go through the majority of his career together and now got to enjoy being selected for England with. He always appreciated that normality and that's what they seemed to all bring to the team.

He would always find himself laughing along more in the past week and a bit than camps before, the team moral was definitely up than it was at any other competitions, and he could see the love and appreciation some of the players already had for one another.

He liked having his city teammates here with him too, it was like an extra slice of home when he needed it.

Whether that be laughing with Phil and Raheem while sat in the gym or out on the pitch with Kyle, which he proudly managed to nutmeg this week and celebrated like the annoying inner child that he only let out around certain people, he just felt happy.

And with the full-time whistle blown and the win against Croatia now under their wing he felt elated. He actually found himself jumping up into Tyrone Mings arms at one point, he really didn't know what had come over him, but he just felt truly happy.

He looked towards the stands, towards the staff area behind the bench and his eyes land straight on Alex. A big smile on her face as she watches him, cheering loudly like she always does, his own personal cheerleader.

He always knew however happy he initially felt he would always feel a million times more happy as soon as he saw her and that's how he felt now.

He felt like his heart could literally burst.

*

"I was so proud of you again tonight" said Alex as she climbed into bed next to John, his arm outstretched for her to duck underneath it, curling into his side as her hand lightly pressed against his abs.

"Thank you beautiful" he told her as he hugged her closer "do you think I played alright?" he asks as Alex sighs ever so slightly, not enough for John to feel it.

Even after all these years John still had imposter syndrome, he never seemed to feel like he was good enough even though he was playing top level football and arguably one of the best defenders in the league, certainly in the top defenders for England.

Alex had become so accustomed to these chats that they would have after a match and sometimes before, where John would doubt his worth and his performance.

He would question how he played, why he was picked and if he could have done anything to better the result, even if they won.

He would always pick apart every inch of his performance, from a missed pass or a failed block, he would analyse the reasons why they didn't work and what he could do in future to achieve a better more consistent result.

He even did the same when he managed to do something right, he would talk about what had led him to that moment and how he could achieve that going forward, not just once in a blue moon, but all the time.

Alex was used to listening and offering advice when he needed it. She would hear him out and offer little snippets at the correct moments, reassuring him of his talent, of his worth, even if he didn't believe it.

She would try and be as detached from the situation as possible, trying to remain impartial as she knew whenever she got too passionate John would always throw the 'well you have to say that because you love me' card at her, so she tried to not have her opinions discredited.

She sometimes wished that he would always be that self-assured boy that she knew. He seemed to struggle to be his true self all the time and would find when it came to football he would exude more worry and nerves than he really should.

However, Alex knew that he was still that cocky, talented yet sensitive boy that she met all those years ago.

The same lad who would happily take on anyone in a darts contest and brag about it, which he still did now, especially with the memories littered around them, like Betty who Alex still brings anywhere with her as her lucky charm, but when it came to his football he never did brag.

He was so humble; he was so thankful that he had achieved it that he feared it could be ripped away from him at any moment.

He didn't want to take any of this for granted so on nights like these he wanted to just check that he had done everything he could do to make those around him proud.

"You were incredible" she said smiling up at him as her breath fans over his bare nipples "you always are, but tonight you were on fire".

Her words immediately sooth him, just like they always do. It was what he needed to hear in that moment.

She always made him feel happier.