The Chance

09 || Obsession

Heartless - The Weeknd
𓆩♡𓆪
Evie

If you told me last year that I'd be back at home missing the first two weeks of first semester confined to the living room couch, I'd laugh in your face.

But nope, here I fucking am.

This couch has been my dwelling for the last 14 days but I can't keep complaining about it. My parents did the best they could to make me comfortable and that's all I can ask of them.

The doctor told me I'm healing well, just slower than usual which he assured me wasn't a problem. It wouldn't be a problem if I didn't want my life to return to normal.

But I do.

I want to be able to walk up the stairs, not rely on crutches to get everywhere. My armpits have never been more sore.

The small incision line on my knee is all I see when I look at myself in the mirror.

It's become an unhealthy obsession because it's all my mind can focus on. In fact, everything on my body is intact besides the red line that mars my knee.

It makes me uncomfortable, but it's the only thing I pay any mind to.

Julie says it will fade over time, but for now, it's the only thing out of place. And I hate it.

It has a small curvature to it, the line not completely straight. It could at least be a clean line, but it's not. And I hate it.

The incision is healing but it's created a bump. The raised skin grosses me out. And I hate it.

I hate staring at it but it's all I do. I'd be lying if I didn't say it somewhat disgusted me. The mark is completely new to me. And I hate it.

"It'll get better Evie, just give it time." Julie reassures me as I rest my head on her shoulder with a sigh.

I huff out a long sigh as my eyes strain at the intense glow of the TV. "Whatever you say," Because right now it looks pretty ugly.

Julie goes silent. I guess it's because all I've been able to talk about is my knee for the past two weeks. I feel bad that I've failed to catch up with her after not seeing her for months.

I grew up with this girl and I can't even manage to ask her how she's been or what she's been up to. I'm a terrible friend.

We sit in silence as Food Network drones on the TV. This is something I cherish about Julie. We can sit for hours without saying something, our company enough for the both of us.

We can also not see each other for a while and nothing changes between us. I love her for that.

I start thinking about all the work I have to catch up on tomorrow. I've managed to start two out of the three papers I need for class, but I don't have the will to finish them now.

I just want to sit here in comfortable silence, before I have to face the reality that is my life tomorrow.

•   •   •   •   •

My parents dropped me off at the airport at noon the next day.

I've never seen so many people stare in my direction before and I know it's because of the aluminum rods that hit the ground with my every hobble.

It's embarrassing, but I had to keep going. I got through security a half an hour later and waited for my flight.

I sat there for an hour wondering what I'm going to do when I get back to the house. I can't go to my room because it's upstairs, and I don't know if anyone's going to be home to help me.