Love Me Enough To Hurt Me

Chapter 4: Memories & Consequences

Caiden was on his way to visit Nailani; he promised God that he would do better and be there for her. He knew he was wrong for cheating on her; Caiden would take it back if he could. Had he known this would happen again if he got caught, he wouldn't have ever called Lola, much less spent the night with her. He was just hurting, Nai was pushing him away, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't have anyone to talk to about his loss; that was his little girl too. Arriving at the hospital, he parked his car and got out. He headed to the receptionist and told her who he was there for. He was told to sign in and given a name tag. He went to the building he was directed to and went up to the nursing station, asking to know what room Nailani was in."Who are you to the patient, sir?" the nurse asked"Her husband," Caiden repliedThe nurse nodded and told him to have a seat. He didn't know what was going on when she first tried to kill herself. After they lost the baby, he was allowed to see her right away. Soon Dr. Robins came up to him. "Mr. Jacobs, can I see you in my office, please"He nodded his head and followed her to her office, wondering what was going on and if Nai was okay. They reach her office, and she gestures for him to have a seat and sits across from him. Once they are seated, silence falls, but Caiden is the one to break it. "Is Nai alright?" he asks "She is doing okay, considering I actually wanted to talk to you." "Talk to me about what." "Mr. Jacobs, I don't think you should see your wife today. She needs space.""Did she says that?" he asks, getting out of his chair"Not in those words, no." Dr. Robin says"Then What am I in this office for?" Caiden Asks"Mr. Jacobs, I'm thinking about what's best for Nailani.""And you think not seeing her husband is best for her?""In light of things, Yes," Dr Robin Says"Where's my wife? Let's see what she has to sayDr. Robin sighs but calls for an attending to let Nailani know she has a visitor. Upon discovering who her visitor was, Nailani asked if they could speak in a private room instead of the rec center. The attending guided them into an empty room but left the door ajar. "How are you feeling, Nai?" Caiden ask"Cai," Nailani says, not looking at him"What happened? Did they do something to you? "Cai said, getting worried at first. The Dr. wouldn't let him see his wife, and now that he's with her, she wouldn't look at him. "I want a divorce," she whispered so low he thought he misheard her."Nai, what, what did you say."Looking up at him in the eyes, she repeats herself. "I want a divorce.""Is that doctor making you say this" he replied"What! No, Cai, this is a decision I made myself; I... I can't do this anymore, Caiden.'"Where is this coming from, Nai? Why?""Why? Do you really need to ask why? You pocket-dialed me, and I heard you with that... that woman," Nai says, trying not to break into tears. Caiden didn't understand. He promised God that if she got through this, he would change. He never thought he would hear the word divorce from her. "Nailani, don't do this, please.""Cai, I have to do this. Can't you see you're killing me" Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said; she hadn't meant to blurt that out. "I'm killing you," he says, gritting his teeth"Cai""I... I didn't make you take those pills."She flinches away from him as his words hit her, and she's faced with her actions. She takes a deep breath before replying."I know, Cai, those were decisions I made, but I've been dying on the inside since Raina, since you blamed me for her death." "I..." she cuts him off."It's fine. I blame myself too, but I can't stay with you, I can't be with you; I have to be able to count on myself, and time and time again, you have proven I definitely can't count on you," Nailani says. Caiden says nothing he couldn't, not after she said her name. They had yet to speak that name since the incident. Hearing their daughter's name brought up so much pain and grief in them both. When he remained silent, she walked out of the room, and when she returned, she was carrying her engagement ring and wedding band. She placed them in his hand and kissed the top of his head. "I love you, but it's time for me to love myself.""This is really what you want?" he asks"It's what I need," she saysCaiden nodded and walked out without a word, not even goodbye. Nailani returns to her room, and that's when she lets herself go. She breaks down, hugging herself as sobs rack her body. Dr. Robin canceled her session today as she reviewed some results, wondering if she should tell her patient.