Love Me Enough To Hurt Me

Chapter 10: Harsh Realities

Caiden stands at the threshold of their empty house. Nailani was supposed to come home today, but he was returning alone instead. He goes to the living room and sinks into the worn armchair, the house's silence enveloping him like a suffocating blanket. His mind races with a whirlwind of emotions—anger, regret, and guilt. Part of him longs to storm over to his grandmother's house and demand his wife come home.

But he decides he is gonna heed Caitlyn's advice, urging him to give her space, to allow her the time she needs to come to terms with everything and heal. However, it tore him apart not having his wife home, especially after finding out that they had another chance to be parents. He didn't want to lose his wife, and he definitely couldn't lose another child. They barely survived after the loss of their first child. Neither of them handled the loss well. Instead of leaning on each other, he turned to other women to fill the void left by his wife's emotional absence. He knew that she struggled; before they got married, Caiden knew that his wife had battles she was fighting. But she was never the same after the loss of her grandmother; he wasn't the same after she landed in the hospital the first time. He felt that he couldn't talk to her, and he admitted that he didn't make himself available to be there for her, even though she forgave him after each affair. Well, except for this one, he couldn't believe that she had really asked for a divorce.

He looks down and traces his fingers over the smooth surface of his wedding ring, the metal feeling cold and familiar against his skin. She wants a divorce, he thought. The revelation had hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, leaving him reeling with disbelief. How could she want to end their marriage, especially now when they were on the verge of actually starting a family together? Caiden rose from his seat, his movements slow and deliberate. He walks over to the cabinet, grabs a glass and the bottle of whiskey, and pours himself a large helping. Thoughts cloud his mind, going through memories and moments trying to figure out how they got here.

How had he let things spiral so out of control? He should be happy right now. He is going to be a father, They should be preparing the nursery and figuring out how they were gonna tell their family and friends. Instead all he can think is she wants a f**king divorce; he takes another gulp out of the glass before refilling it and walks back over to the armchair glass and bottle in his hands. The more he is in his thoughts, the anger at himself and Nailani continues to grow. He took another swig of whiskey, the bitter taste burning down his throat as he struggled to drown out the memories that haunted him. Caiden knew he had some responsibility that they were in the space they were in now, but he wasn't the only one to blame, and he would be damned if he let her walk away just like that. As he takes the last swig of whiskey from the glass, he puts it on the side table. He starts to get a bit tired and decides to make his way upstairs. As he heads to bed, he vows to do whatever it takes to regain the life they had created together. He couldn't force her to forgive him, but he would fight like hell to save his marriage, and if she still decided to go down that road, they both would deal with the consequences.

The following day, he wakes up with a headache; he goes to the bathroom and grabs some aspirin from the medicine cabinet. Placing two in his hand and filling a cup with water, he takes the aspirin and looks at himself in the mirror, the bags under his eyes evidence of the rest he did not get. As he headed back to the bedroom, the sudden shrill ring of his phone pierced through the silence in the house. He looks to see who's calling, but his heart skips a bit upon seeing Lola's name. He hesitated momentarily, his thumb hovering over the screen as he wrestled with conflicting emotions. Part of him wanted to ignore the call, but he decided to answer.

Hello?" he said, his voice strained with apprehension.

"Hey, Caiden, it's me," came the familiar voice on the other end.