Irreparable - Hannibal Lecter

007 Underwater

Back at home, Emily found herself contemplating Dr. Lecter's words. Thomas was still awake when she arrived, engrossed in his painting in the sunroom. She stood in the doorway, her gaze fixated on him, studying the contours of his body. She noticed the lines of his face, his concentrated brow, and the way his body leaned closer to the canvas with each stroke of his brush. Her eyes trailed down to the defined muscles in his arms, his hands, and his fingers. Memories of their past intimacy flashed through her mind, and a flicker of longing sparked within her.

"I can feel you looming," Thomas said, his eyes still focused on the canvas. "It's distracting. Please come in or get out."
''I was hoping you'd come to bed soon.' 
"Thomas turned to her, a bemused expression on his face. "Why? I have only just started on this piece" Emily's heart sank momentarily, realizing that her subtle advances had gone unnoticed. She took a breath, hoping to capture his attention. She moved into the room,

"Or I could draw a bath?" she proposed, hoping that the idea would sway him. "And get some wine." She felt an unease settle in her chest, uncertain if she was truly ready for intimacy.
"You could do that, yeah," Thomas conceded, his focus still fixed on the canvas. "Just make sure your hair is dry before you make the pillows all wet."

Emily's frustration grew as she struggled to connect. And she felt a worry creeping into her mind. She took a step closer, leaning in to get his attention, her voice tinged with a mix of desperation and determination. "Thomas, you are not hearing me," she declared, her words hanging in the air.  Maybe she shouldn't have thought of this at all. Maybe it was another ridiculous atempt at salvaging what was already gone.

Startled by her sudden assertiveness, Thomas abruptly put down his brush with a thud. He turned to face Emily, locking eyes with her. "Goddamnit, Emily," he exclaimed, his voice filled with exasperation. "Why are you still here?"

Taken aback by his outburst,  she moved away from him, losing all courage as she realized she was right.
"Emily," Thomas said again, the realization of his wife's actions finally dawning on him. "We don't ever. Why now?'' The weight of his words settled in her chest, mingling with a sense of embarrassment that enveloped her. ''Why now when I am working." He said frustrated. She could feel a knot-like sensation forming in the pit of her stomach, intensifying her discomfort. She turned her heel and closed the door behind her. A long sigh left her mouth as she walked to the upstairs bathroom. Her steps were heavy.

The tiles, pristine and clinical, adorned the floor and walls, offering a sterile ambiance. Their white hue seemed to stretch endlessly, showing an undeniable lack of character. A pristine white bathtub, flawlessly sculpted, stood as the centerpiece of the room

As she walked to the sink, she leaned against the countertop, both hands firmly pressed against a smooth expanse of marble. She turned on the gleaming faucet, allowing the cool water to flow over her face, hoping it would help calm her racing thoughts. As she looked at herself in the mirror, the reflection of a woman in her mid-thirties stared back at her. She observed her body, and her healthy physique, and wondered if there was something about her appearance that had caused her husband's lack of interest. She scrutinized her skin, tugging at it slightly, searching for any flaw that might have contributed to his indifference, but she couldn't find anything glaringly wrong. With a frustrating move she release her updo,  she had always preferred her hair down. The strands fell loosely, brown curls framing her face as she made her way to the tub.

Sitting on the cold porcelain edge, she watched as the warm water began to fill the tub,
Without hesitation, she submerged herself under the water, feeling it envelop her body. Her hair floated around her. Underwater, she opened her eyes, observing the distorted view through the wavering liquid. Small bubbles escaped from her mouth as she exhaled, momentarily losing some oxygen. She closed her eyes and let out a scream underwater, the sound of muffled bubbles rose past her ears. The heavy feeling in her chest now lifted. For once she felt at peace, a crude sense of acceptance washed over her. This chapter of her marriage was now closed, and maybe it wouldn't bother her anymore.

As she emerged from the water, she reclined back into the tub. Staring at the ceiling, she let her hands glide along her legs, seeking solace in the gentle touch. She noticed how the pit in her stomach had disappeared. She let out a long breath as she moved her hands upward.
She looked at her hands through the water as they reached her knees. Her mind momentarily drifted to Dr.Lecter, remembering the shapes on his face. Her hands traveled further upwards.  As her hands settled between her thighs she could only think of Mark. And she closed her eyes again.