I'm Not Yours

6. Jessie's Girl

"Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine. And she's watching him with those eyes. And she's loving him with that body, I just know it."

Well...no regrets so far.

It's been a month since Bucky and I made our "arrangement" and things have been going good. Outside of Friday's we're good friends, our training has been going well. And when we hang out there's no sexual tension, no longing, no awkwardness.

It's probably because we know that every Friday we'll be able to let it all out with each other.

And boy do we let it out.

In every way I know. In ways I didn't even know. Things I didn't even think I'd like. Things I've always wanted to try but was always too scared to ask a guy to do.

But I asked him. Because I trust Bucky. He makes me feel safe.

Even when his vibranium hand is around my throat.

I've also gotten closer to everyone else on the team. I've been spending time with Clint. My archery skills have definitely improved and I feel a lot more mentally prepared for everything. I've had conversations about this with most of the team. Though I made sure to try and keep the conversations light. I know a lot of this stuff has been really hard on them. But they've been supportive and more than happy to help.

Bruce is practically my professor at this point. And I genuinely feel like I should be awarded a college degree for all the things I've been learning.

Nat, Wanda and I have really bonded. Wanda has been helping me practice dealing with super-powered opponents while fighting, and let's just say it usually ends with me tossed on the floor. Nat is continuing my computer tech and teaching me how she makes her fighting moves look so effortless. I can feel myself getting stronger. I can see my skills increasing each day.

The three of us also have girl's nights when we can and it's honestly such a nice break from the testosterone on this team.

And then there's Steve.

Other than Bucky he's the person I've gotten closest to. In fact, I'd probably say I'm closer to Steve than Bucky. It's a different kind of friendship with him. There's nothing extra. With Bucky I feel like I can't be as open because I don't want him to mistake it for something else. We have to keep this line between us to make sure there's no confusion.

But with Steve, I can tell him anything. Tell him everything. I don't because there's certain things I agreed to keep secret. But he's the person I hang out with the most. I'd even dare to call him my best friend but it's kind I've weird considering he has Bucky.

I guess I can say he's my best friend, even if I'm not his.

And I know he's my best friend because there is no one else who could convince me to go hiking. I fucking hate hiking.

Luckily he doesn't ask me to go super early like he normally does. But that's mainly because he has an early meeting with Tony. He texts me to meet him downstairs so after changing into my workout shorts and a loose gym shirt, I make my way over to the main building. I head towards Tony's office, hoping that they'll be done soon. As I turn towards the hallway I stop as I come face to face with Tony...or rather a life size cardboard cutout of Tony.

The cutout has one hand extended out, pointed towards the left, and a sign on it that says: Tony's office this way.

"You like them?" I turn to find Tony standing next to me, proudly looking at his cardboard cutouts. "I wanted to make sure no one got lost getting to my office." He turns to me and I see a huge teasing smile on his face.