I'm Not Yours

5. Friends Don't Kiss

I want to put a trigger warning for this chapter. While it doesn't actually happen, there is a situation involving sexual assault. I didn't want to spoil anything but I would feel horrible if anybody reading this was sensitive to that subject and then got triggered while reading. Again it's not aggressive, but if it's a really sensitive topic for you please read with caution. Love you guys! Be safe!

"Why do you touch me? Making me feel this way...All I know is there's nowhere I'd rather be, but where do we go now?"

Fancy dress...check.

Heels...check.

Hair and makeup...check.

Confidence...still working on it.

I had no idea SHIELD had a whole costume department. But I guess it makes sense if your mission involves going undercover to an exclusive party.

"You look hot." Nat says, her head poking out behind me in the mirror.

Despite the nerves I give her a soft smile. "Thanks." I say smoothing out my dress. It's red, and just short and tight enough to draw attention but not limit my movement.

She comes up beside me, fixing up my hair. "You can say no."

I turn to look at her, eyes wide with surprise considering she was the biggest advocate for me going. "You're telling me this after I've gotten dressed and ready?"

She smiles. "I truly think you're the best person to do this." she says, and I can see the sympathy in her eyes. "But we'd understand if you didn't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to. I just don't know if I'm ready."

Nat steps beside me, putting her hands on my hips and forcing me to look at myself in the mirror. "You're ready because you have to be." she says. "Remember our training? You couldn't get past the system until you had to save yourself from the pain. It's the same thing. You're going to figure it out because you'll have no other choice."

It's a lot of trust she's putting in me. But I suppose I haven't really given them a reason to not trust me. Nat's right. Almost everything they've thrown at me I've taken with ease. I know what I'm capable of. I know I can do this.

"We need to get going." she says, grabbing the bag that has my clothes and things.

We go right from the dressing room to the hangar and hop on a quinjet. We're not going far, but it will obviously be quicker than driving. As we fly I get my comms system and the flash drive I'm supposed to put the information in.

They inform me about the logistics again and let me know I won't be able to take my phone with me, that way they won't be able to trace it.

Shit, Steve...

Damn he's probably waiting for me to call him. I'm technically not done, but who knows how long this mission is going to go for. I should at least let him know what's happening.

I dig through the bag, finding my phone at the bottom underneath all of my clothes. When I pull it up I see a ton of missed calls and texts, from both Steve and Bucky.

"Shit." I say, hoping they're not freaking out. I go to return the call when another one comes in, Steve's name coming across my screen.

I quickly swipe and bring the phone to my ear. "Steve?"

"Finally!" he gasps out, and I can hear the desperation in his voice.

In the background I hear rapid footsteps, before Bucky's voice comes through the phone. "What the fuck Cali?"