I'm Not Yours

10. Hands To Myself

"So come on, give me a taste of what it's like to be next to you...Can't keep my hands to myself. I mean I could but why would I want to."

The loud beeping of an alarm jolts me awake and it upsets me even more because it's not my alarm. Someone sent a team-wide message which hit everyone's phone. I groan as I reach my hand out to grab my phone and shut it off.

I typically handle hangovers really well, but these first few moments when I'm waking up are killer. I can feel my head spin with every movement. It's the worst but the sooner I get past this part, the sooner it will be over.

I start to get up, now feeling my stomach turn along with my head. Not in the "I'm going to throw up" kind of way, but just in the "I'm extremely uncomfortable" way. Once I can sit up I take a few breaths as my eyes fully open. And it's then that I see a half full glass of water.

Oh...I do remember the sound of something being placed on my nightstand, maybe Steve left this for me for the morning? Which is honestly a godsend because I could really use this right now. I drink the entire thing, definitely wishing I had more but extremely grateful that he left it here.

With that in my body I feel better and I slowly get up and head into the bathroom. A quick look in the mirror and I can see I'm a mess. I didn't do a great job of taking off my make-up while drunk last night so there's still some black eyeliner smeared around my eyes. I sigh and decide a shower is what I really need right now.

I jump into the cold water so that it can reboot my system. I didn't check the message that went out, but I'm sure it has something to do with the team breakfast this morning. Which means I know I don't have a lot of time to just enjoy the water, so I make this shower quick before stepping out and going to change.

I take this time to think about yesterday. My brain is a little fuzzy on the details at first, so I walk through the night to make sure I remember everything.

The party...starting to drink...I had a moment outside with Steve...then got fingered by Bucky before going down on him...got harassed by some guy...more alcohol...finding out Steve isn't a virgin (still can't believe it)...asking Bucky if he'd have a threesome with Steve (oh god)...guilting Bucky about our agreement (dammit Cali)...telling Steve about the possible threesome (kill me now).

Alright...maybe no more alcohol for me.

Now that I've confirmed I remember everything from last night I need to think about how I'm going to go forward from here. I can't just pretend like I didn't say what I said last night. And it'd be immature of me to just act like I don't remember.

Once I'm ready, and feeling much better, I make my way downstairs. And judging by the time I think it's safe to say I'm probably one of, if not the last one to arrive.

"Morning." I say, stepping into the kitchen. Almost everyone is setting up the table for breakfast. Except for Nat and Wands, who are both leaning over the counter, their heads pressed against the cool marble and a large coffee cup in their hands.

"You are way too chipper for how drunk we got yesterday." she says, giving me an annoyed look.

I chuckle as I walk over to grab a cup of coffee. "It wasn't that bad." I say, knowing that, yes this morning wasn't fun, but it's not like we blackedout or anything.

"Yeah it was." Wanda mumbles, slowly lifting her head.

I know for a fact she isn't a big drinker so I kind of feel guilty for being a bad influence on her. And she drank way less than Nat and I did.

"Well it doesn't feel like it was that bad." I say, but I know that's probably because Steve brought me that water and aspirin.

Bucky steps up to the counter, clearly overhearing the conversation. "Do you even remember half of the night?" he says, finally looking up at me. He almost looks annoyed, and despite not knowing exactly why, I don't appreciate the condescending tone.