Secrets and Sins

Chapter 19

~Ava~

Ava was nervous, she had been ever since she had climbed into the van behind Bea to come home to the Cradle. She wasn’t nervous to see the other OCS operatives, well she was, but that wasn’t the main reason.
Ava was nervous to be alone with Bea, now there was no halo to stand in their way, nothing to stop them when things got hot and heavy. Yes, they had had some very intense make out sessions, but Ava always kind of knew in the back of her head that the halo would stop them going further.

Like a safety net, a very sexually frustrating safety net.

Ava had limited experience in the intimacy department, and no experience at all when it came to being intimate with a woman. Now that she knew she could go all the way with Bea, she doubted herself. She wanted it to be perfect, but she didn't know how to be perfect.

Bea placed a hand on her knee, causing Ava to flinch back with a yelp.

Bea frowned, “Everything okay Ava?”

“Yep. Yep. Everything's just peachy.” Ava squeaked out.

Bea gave her that look, the look that said she knew Ava was bullshitting.

“I'm just nervous is all, seeing everyone after everything that happened.” Ava trailed off.

Technically not a lie.

Bea gave her a sympathetic look, nodding, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, okay?”

“Mmhmm.” Ava hummed the affirmative, not trusting her voice to not give her away.

Ava’s awkwardness got worse and worse as they approached the Halo bearer’s quarters. Once they were inside, Ava practically ran to the bathroom yelling ‘taking a shower' behind her, leaving a confused Bea standing beside the door. Ava let out a breath as she closed the bathroom door, trying to relax. She undressed slowly from her sparing clothes, wincing slightly from her sore muscles. Now the halo was blocked there would be no more quick recoveries after being beaten up.

Still better than the alternative.

Letting the hot water cascade down her shoulders, Ava breathed out a sigh, the sore muscles were soothed by the heat. The shower also helped to calm her racing mind. She remembered what Bea had asked when they had talked at the cell, how she had wanted Ava to be open about her feelings. The Halo bearer inhaled slowly, finding her courage. She would tell Bea what was bothering her, they could talk it through together.

Dressing in a plain grey t-shirt and black running shorts, Ava looked at herself one more time in the mirror, trying to steel herself for the conversation. She exited the bathroom to find her bedroom empty and Bea gone.

Oh for fucks sake.

~Beatrice~

Beatrice was really trying to concentrate on the musty old book she was reading, but it was nearly impossible. Ava had been acting so weird on the way home and had taken so long in the bathroom that the sister warrior had decided the other woman must have wanted some time alone. She had even left Ava a little note apologizing for 'crowding her' and explaining 'she would leave to give her space'. 

So here she was sitting alone in the old library of the Cat's cradle trying to translate a book about the halo from old Latin.

“What the fuck am I doing.” Beatrice said out loud, running her hand over her face.

“I’ll say.” Camilla appeared from between the book stacks.

“Sister Camilla, I'm sorry for my language. I thought I was alone.”

“Oh Bea stop.” Camilla interrupted.
“Why aren't you with Ava?”

Beatrice ducked her head, blushing slightly, “I think Ava wanted some space. She was acting really weird.”

Camilla gave her an exasperated look, “And so you left? You didn't ask her?”

“Ah. Yes. Yes, I did.”

It suddenly dawned on Beatrice what Camilla was getting at, Ava had been through a hell of a lot since she had returned from the other side, and she had just left the Halo bearer alone when something was obviously bothering her. Beatrice had literally asked Ava to open up about what she was feeling and here Beatrice was running away.

Bloody idiot.

“For God’s sake Bea.” Camilla said.
“Get your arse back up those stairs and talk to your girl.”