Questioning Means Uncertainty

Chapter Eleven

"Father." Stacy called out. I paused on my way up. What was she going to say now?

"What is it?" I asked, peering down the stairs railing at her.

She got up and made her way to the step I was on. She gazed into my eyes for a moment before suddenly hugging me. I froze, astonished.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to me. Something clicked inside of me. What's going on?

"What?" I said, confused. I carefully and cautiously wrapped my own arms around her. Was she okay? She squeezed tightly onto me. I grew more worried. "What's going on? You okay?"

"Yeah, just.. I'm sorry." She spoke with genuine seriousness. "I've always been such a dick to you."

"What? What do you mean? I have-" She looked me in the eyes and I stopped. Had she been crying? She smiled and a tear formed in her eye. She doesn't care? Why's she crying? I realised how much I had been hurting my family. It felt like something broke inside of me. "I.. I'm sorry too. I haven't been the best father, or person and I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I haven't been the best daughter either. I'm sorry for being like that for so many years."

I spoke with meaning, I was shocked with myself by what I had said. I hadn't expected Stacy to ever show anything other than hatred for me. Her eyes showed me compassion, regret, guilt, so many other emotions. We parted and I looked at her. My daughter, Vajza Ime. My hands remained on her shoulders as I did so. Her eyes looked filled with genuine sorrow and like she meant everything she was saying.

"I.. I'm gonna fix this."

"What?"

"I'm gonna talk things over, fix stuff up. I'm gonna fix this."

"Fix what?"

I smiled and she understood immediately.

"I'm gonna try becoming more like a father should. I'm sorry I'm late, but I'll try."

She smiled at me and hugged me again, I still didn't expect it but I wrapped my arms around her once again. It was such a strange feeling, but it was nice.

"And I'll also try to get used to this."

"You better, I'm gonna try being a better daughter to you too." She sniffled.

I smiled and wiped the tear away with my hand. I kissed the top of her head and hugged her. This was my only daughter, as a father I was supposed to care for, nurture, support, love unconditionally and acknowledge my children. I realised I hadn't been doing much of any of these, I failed. This was my daughter, my only daughter. I should've done right by her and been an example of a good man. I'd failed so far, what will she think when she's married to some man?

I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. Sorrow and regret also filled her eyes. They struck a nerve I didn't know I had. Was this my doing?

"I'm sorry, again."

"Me too."

"Dad.." She started. She called me dad, not father. I smiled. "I love you. I'm sorry for being a dick."

She said she loved me, after all of this?

"Language." She chuckled. "I love you too."

She smiled again and wiped another tear. Her eyes were bloodshot at this point.

"Okay, I'm gonna go talk to mom now."

"Sure, I'll take care of my issue after I return from my trip." She nodded happily, though she didn't seem to mind any of it. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen where her mother was. I walked upstairs and into my room. I walked over to the bed and kneeled down, pulling out a loose board. Lodged underneath the board was an envelope carrying a card with a date and some writing on it. I read it to myself. April 10th, 0300 Fort Nier. These were mission details.