Ever So Sweet | BrightWin

14. SIBLINGS

According to Greek mythology, humans were said to be originally created with four arms, four legs, and one head with two faces. It symbolized the non-betraying love, sharing, and attachment between the two.

Fearing their power, God Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half.

-

It was an ancient but famous story that came from Greek mythology. At present, human beings would go everywhere saying they are looking for the right person, their true love, basically their mate. Their other half.

I didn't believe in myths, but the idea of lovers being attached to each other but now they are separated and in search of the other half made some sense. It was fantasy indeed, but I believed in the fact that my other half was somewhere around.

I gave up on that idea the day I realized I might not find my other half, and when I did, it all got washed away because of my past decisions. I prayed to god if the myth was real, my... mate, my Bright must find his other half, but that half shouldn't be me.. because I did not deserve someone so pure, someone so loving and caring like him.

I couldn't help but curl into a ball and spend 96 hours straight in my room like a bish. Shedding tears, regretting, and growing self-hatred within me became my routine every day. My parents, siblings, and even my best friend, whom I accused before, tried to get me out of my shell, but it was useless. I was regretting my whole life, yearning for something I would never get.

"Dude. Come out, you stink!" Joss would come from time to time and tug at my blanket, trying to get me out. He would try different tactics to make me agree.

"Leave me alone!" I would complain and ask him to leave every time he tried.

"You do really sound like a widow! That son of a bitch didn't die. Just come out." he would say bad things about Bright, which would make me madder.

Because in that situation, Bright was 100% correct, and I was at all fault for my stupidity.

-

"My heat scent is still there, Joss. Lemme stay in." I pleaded.

"I know, but you can still come out to the backyard or something?" he offered.

"No thanks. I've built a beautiful shell around me. Let me stay inside." I demanded, burying myself deep in the blanket. I wasn't talking about the blanket around me but the emotions I built, the sadness which grew inside me, and the repentance in my mind.

"No matter how beautiful the shell is, if it is lonely, it's a sad shell."

"I am not lonely, Joss... I have Mama, Papa, Mick, Mesa, Ming, and you!"

"Of course, and I have a tail."

Joss's remarks were true, but I didn't like to listen to the truth. I realized why all the years I escaped people and snuggled myself into loneliness, and even with the person I loved, I hid a huge ass secret from him, which made me close myself out from the world when he found out.

It was because I was a liar from the beginning. I was scared someone might break my walls and come in. I saw Bright invading my closeted life. I thought making him sad and rejecting him every time was the right thing to do at that moment. But I was wrong.

God then did his thing. He made me realize how wrong I was when I lost my mate... I had no way to turn back the time, and even if I went back in time, I would do the same thing all over again unless the future me went and talked with little Win.