My Mind Is My Enemy

Chapter 8

I heard faint voices when I woke up and it lead me to the outside of my room. Alexis and Viliar were having a conversation right outside my door. Everything was a little foggy but memories of the previous night filled my head. I'd never felt the way I did after taking the drugs; I was genuinely in a space where nothing mattered. I couldn't feel anything except for the anger I had towards all of them but that feeling was provoked. I was at my happiest; a feeling I'd been craving since mom died. I layed back down listening to Viliar and Alexis' conversation.

"I'm scared aunty. What if she kills herself?" Alexis said with sniffs. She was crying and that brought a feeling of irritation. Had she left me alone last night I wouldn't had said what I said.

"She won't sweetheart. Rey loves you, she made a promise to herself that she will stay alive for you, that doesn't just dissapear."

"But you heard her last night, she said that she'll no longer be living for my sake."

"Honey don't cry, people say things that they don't mean when they're angry."

Alexis sniffed again, "she wasn't angry aunty Viliar, she was high."

That is exactly why I said what I said last night. Alexis did not have my back and she'd proven that countles of times. She always seeks everyone else's approval but can't look out for her own sister.

I got up out of bed; I was tired of listening to their pathetic conversation. I opened the door and they both stook a step back. I ignored their glances and made my way to the bathroom. I used the toilet and while washing my hands I looked at myself. Looked at the person I didn't recognize, the person I hated, the person I wish was different. I thought of a way to get more pills from Xian and I had the perfect plan.

I walked to the kitchen and Baron was in there cooking some eggs. I looked to the counter and saw four plates that consisted of toast and bacon. Baron's bacon was always done crispy and his eggs were amazing but that morning I had no intent of having breakfast with the family.

He turned around when he saw me standing there. He distributed the eggs equally then placed the pan in the sink. "Good mornin kid." He greeted with a smile. I didn't return the smile but did greet him with a dry "Hi."

I grabbed an apple from the fridge then headed for the front door but was stopped when Baron asked where I was going. I told him I was going on a walk and with great relief he didn't stop me. He was just disappointed that I wasn't going to join them for breakfast. He didn't bring up what I said the previous night and I was glad he didn't, he didn't deserve what I said.

I ate the apple while walking to Xian's house. Xian's house was a fifteen minute walk from my house so when I got there sweat had formed on my hairline. I wiped it off with the back of my hand. The weather was a bit hot that morning which indicated that it would be twice as hot during the day. I looked down at the long sweat pants I had on and immediately regretted not changing into shorts.

I knocked on the door and Xian's grandma opened the door. "Oh hi Rey. How're you doing? What's got you here so early in the morning? I just cooked breakfast, come on in." She said opening the door wider for me. This was the second time meeting up with Xian's grandma who I didn't know her name.

"Mrs... I didn't get your name the first time we met." I said trying not to offend her in any way.

She laughed then smiled sweetly, "Oh darling call me Parlie. Parlie Tan but people always call me Harley, folks aren't used to the name Parlie."

I smiled at her angelic voice. She was a gentle soul; someone who cared about everyone's wellbeing.

"Would you like some biscuits. I made them myself last night when you and Cain left. I asked Xian to help me but you know how you guys are, never wanting to be around old folks."

I nodded at what she said. I hated hanging out with old people because they carried around an intimidating aura, one we had to respect and sometimes surrender to. I never felt free being around senior citizens, not even around sweet Parlie.

"Here take a biscuit and if you're looking for Xian, he's down in basment painting the walls. He says he wants to create a band, he claims the basement can't look like a basement. It needs to 'give studio vibes' whatever that means." Parlie explained while I took a biscuit for her.

I took a bite and moaned at the coconut and chocolate flavor filling my mouth. "These are good Mrs Tan." I praised. Her smile grew and that made me feel good.

"You can take as many as you want or I can give you a container of them to give to Viliar." She offered. I nodded even though I wanted to say that I didn't care about any of them. I took two more biscuits before making my way to the basement. I knew where the basement was because Xian led us there the night we came over.

"And honey please come up here with Xian, breakfast is almost ready!" Parlie yelled so that I could hear her. I told her that I would and as soon as I got down I passed the message to Xian. He groaned at the fact that he had to have breakfast with his gran when last night he had to have dinner with her. Xian enjoyed having his meals by himself so I understood his reluctance.

He was painting the walls matte black which I hated; anything matte was dull to me. "How was the effect of the drug?" He questioned with a smirk. He put down the paintbrush and walked over to me. He was wearing in apron to protect his clothing but had a few paint splatters on his face.

"I loved it. Made me spit out some truth to the people I live with but it felt amazing. Like nothing in this world mattered but the feeling of happiness." I explained.

He nodded then made his way upstairs but he stopped midway. "Would you like to try the other pills I have?"

I contemplated but I'd rather stick to the one I know and had experience with. I shook my head and he just nodded. "Let me get you some more but this is the last time I'm giving you them for free."

I laughed a little; he acted like I asked for them occasionally. He went to his room and I went to the kitchen. Parlie had made a pot of tea and placed three sets of the cups, side plates and saucers. In the middle of the table were scones that had steam coming out of which gave off a vanilla scent. We eat with our eyes so I already knew they would taste good.

"Take a seat sweetheart. I saw Xain coming up with you, where is he?"

"He went to his room real quick Mrs Tan. I'm sure he'll be here any minute now."

She nodded while pouring herself some tea. Xian came from around the corner and I sighed in relief. Mrs Tan was busy looking for something in cabinet which gave Xian an opportunity to quickly give it to me. I mouthed a quick thank you and he just smiled. He was helping me help myself in an unhealthy way but I was grateful it was keeping me alive.