incurables // h.s & l.t

one

harry

The world had ended. As simple as that. People were dying, the virus spreading faster than anything you've ever seen or heard of.

If you met me now you'd think I was strong. Truth is, I'm weak. I lost my family. I don't remember how, but I was separated from them. It was the worst experience in my life. At least what I can remember.

It's scary, being in a world where if you make the wrong move you die. If you make too much noise you attract them. If you're too slow they get you. If you're

not strong enough and you're alone you'll become one of them.

I found a new home. I've been traveling for months, trying to find somewhere to stay, trying to stay alive. I've had to fend for myself. Find what little food is left, get weapons whenever I can. Anything to stay alive.

No one knows how the virus started, but as soon as it got out it spread faster than light. It was all over the news and at first people thought it was just something small and it would pass over, but it didn't. Not at all.

It started in Japan, then spread all across Asia, Europe, and Africa. Without knowing it people got on planes and ships with the disease and spread it to the states, South America, Australia, and the UK. Everywhere.

Somehow I ended up 129 miles away from home. I was born in Holmes Chapel, I'm far from home. Far from my family. Far from the love of my life, or the remains of her.

I left behind a girlfriend. Well, she's one of them now. I was going to propose a couple days before the disease broke out. I was finally going to make her mine forever, but I never got the chance. I never got the chance to really show her how much I loved her.

It's all different now. I don't feel anything. It's better that way. When you don't care you can't get hurt. Yes, every time I watch someone die I feel a sting in my chest because I know that I could've saved them and I didn't, but I know it's for the best. The only reason I'm alive is because I've looked out for myself and my family would've wanted me to fight as long as I could.

A part of me wants to feel, but I just can't. I can't let all of those blocked out feelings back in, because as soon as I do that, I'm putting myself in danger and I can't afford that. I just I don't want to. I can't.

That's why every time I come across another human I have to block them out, especially when they're being attacked by one of them. I can't afford to go soft, I can't afford to take care of someone else besides myself. It's just better this way, I know no one will understand this but it's how I have to be.

I've always been that guy who doesn't really show his feelings. That guy who doesn't fully show you how much he loves you or how much he hates you. It's a terrible quality but it's what is making this whole situation so much easier. I've always been a soft guy, I just rarely let it show.

I've always been the person who cared about what others thought about me. I now realize that, that was stupid. There's no one left to judge me. No one I know at least. No parents, no high school bullies, no friends. No one. It's just me, myself, and I. It's lonely. I've never been so emotionally and physically alone at the same time. I never want someone to feel this way, but I can't do anything about it anymore.

I was stupid in the beginning of this whole mess. I almost got killed ten times. The only thing i knew to protect myself was boxing. I eventually developed skills in handling guns and knives. In a world like this everyone learns.

All of this happened in the winter. A month before my 21st birthday. It's August 10th now. The small town I'm in, Blades, is practically deserted. It was a small town to start with, but its population of 1,000 has gone down to at least 100 that are still alive. Maybe less. The last time I was out of this house was last week. Some people aren't as smart and leave more often than needed, or they'll use all their supplies and have to go out to get more, or they didn't get enough to start with.

It's just dead everywhere you go. The plants, people who were killed by other humans that just rot, the food. The soils so bad you can't grow anything anymore. So getting seeds and planting them is no use. The neighborhood i decided on has gated houses, keeping unwanted visitors out. It's as though they built these houses for this specific situation.

Before all of this there would be flowers everywhere, parties every night, music bursting through the roofs. Music. The one thing that kept me completely sane before this. When you lose something close to you, you lose a part of you. You go crazy. The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.

I've suffered demons and they have yet to be conquered. Every night I lay in bed, getting barely any sleep. My mind repeats images of every person I let die, every person I could've saved. Blood everywhere. One word written in blood that repeats in my head over and over again. Murderer. The one thing that defines me. The one thing keeping me up at night.

I'm a murderer. I've killed and watched as others have died. I felt little or no remorse. I've become a monster. The one thing I promised myself I would never become. I don't think there's any turning back now, I'm a helpless cause. I deserve this insanity in my head. This is who I am now. A monster. I might as well be one of them. An incurable.

Their skin sickly pale and purple. Their teeth dull and filled with venom. Nails sharp as can be. Some fast, some slow. You never know when one's coming because they're very quiet. The only noise they ever make is a snarl before they kill you.

Every person I kill or every incurable I kill I find the name of and write it down. For the day I finally gain my sanity back. For the day I finally let myself feel again. I don't know when that is or if it will ever happen but I need to take precautions.

A part of me does hope that, that day will come. But the other part of me knows it won't. Not when I'm in a world like this. It's just impossible.

One day, I'll find peace. One day, I'll be free. One day, I'll be sane again. One day, I'll be happy.

how was that for the first chapter?

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